The Bible sent to me by the Real Live Preacher was highly personal and thus, highly valued. On the top of this page, I encountered the first hand-written and cryptic note by the RLP :
"practice 'kingdom anxiety'. crowd out worry - don't drive it out - Dad"
Did the RLP's father actually say this to him? In what context? I can't imagine in a million years having a conversation with either of my parents about a chapter of the Bible.
This is a particularly poetic verse of the NT. "Look at the birds of the air, they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them." "Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these."
I can admire the birds. There are a flock of crows living on my street and recently there was a baby crow who apparently fell from the nest too early and was hiding in the bushes where Polly and I walk. Polly didn't pay it much mind but the parents were in the trees above us complaining loudly about getting too close to the the chick. Later I heard they would fly down and feed it and eventually it was gone.
There are also flowers here everywhere. I'm not sure why they would spin but in the tropical climate in which I live, they are proficient. Both the birds and the flowers are a natural part of my neighborhood.
So is worry. Because of having AIDS, I'm naturally surrounded by worry. Worry about stomach pains, worry about neuropathy, worry about my bowels, worry about every headache. My dear friend Gary who died in 1993 of AIDS once said to me "Do you think with all the medicines for diarehha on the market, people with AIDS are the only ones who suffer from the symptoms?" It's easy to ascribe every problem I have to my disease. Hence the worry.
But with each symptom, I try to stay in the moment. Unless it's extreme, I try to realize that pain and occasional problems are just part of getting older and being human.
Matthew concludes with Jesus saying "So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring problems of its own. Today's trouble is enough for today." Take a deep breath. Baby steps. Keep ypur eye on the sparrow and the crows and the lilies and enjoy them all while they surround you today.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
MORAL OREL
When I was a kid, I LOVED "Davey and Goliath". It wasn't the whole "God" message as much as my fascination with Claymation and anything Disney and animation. Seeing thumbprints in the brown body of Goliath (the dog) was a special treat for me.
"Adult Swim" on the Cartoon Network (home of "Aqua Teen Hunger Force", who I also love) currently have a claymation series parodying ""Davey and Goliath" called "Moral Orel". It's so brill.
The scary part is this is really how some people think.
"Adult Swim" on the Cartoon Network (home of "Aqua Teen Hunger Force", who I also love) currently have a claymation series parodying ""Davey and Goliath" called "Moral Orel". It's so brill.
The scary part is this is really how some people think.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
EYES
"The eye is the lamp of the body."
What eye are we talking about here? I question the physical eye. I tend to go towaards the metaphorical eye, how we view the world. If we see the world as an opportunity or as an interpretation, then the eye can show us many different things. Is an arguement a "seperation of ways" or an ability to solder old wounds?
Which light do we want to shed from our eyes on the occcurances of our worlds?
For me, having AIDS has been an experience of the highest order. I've seen friends pass, I've depended on medicines I know little about and I've outlived the experience of so many people. This can only be a lesson for me. A lesson in faith, perserverence and sometimes even a roadsign as to what I can bring to the world and leave behind. My eye has a short vision. Every day I see only to the next day. But still, however weak, I shine a lamp. If only for Polly. If only for the dim light I can shine that may touch the lights of the people around me.
What eye are we talking about here? I question the physical eye. I tend to go towaards the metaphorical eye, how we view the world. If we see the world as an opportunity or as an interpretation, then the eye can show us many different things. Is an arguement a "seperation of ways" or an ability to solder old wounds?
Which light do we want to shed from our eyes on the occcurances of our worlds?
For me, having AIDS has been an experience of the highest order. I've seen friends pass, I've depended on medicines I know little about and I've outlived the experience of so many people. This can only be a lesson for me. A lesson in faith, perserverence and sometimes even a roadsign as to what I can bring to the world and leave behind. My eye has a short vision. Every day I see only to the next day. But still, however weak, I shine a lamp. If only for Polly. If only for the dim light I can shine that may touch the lights of the people around me.
Monday, May 28, 2007
I'M FASTING AS FAST AS I CAN...
Let me clarify some things from my last post -
1. I understand many different religions currently "fast" as part of their regiment. God bless them.
2. I'm only (as I've said before) going by the interpretation of the Bible I was given - the New Standard Version. My opinions and ideas are only based on that.
3. "Fasting" still remains (in my humble opinion) an economic as well as devout option. In our modern position, where "fasting" is more of an option rather than a neccesity for most people, it's a conscious decision. I applaud this challange.
I was in no way denegrating or demeaning the "fasting" position. I was merely trying to place it in the context in which it was written in the Gospel of Matthew.
1. I understand many different religions currently "fast" as part of their regiment. God bless them.
2. I'm only (as I've said before) going by the interpretation of the Bible I was given - the New Standard Version. My opinions and ideas are only based on that.
3. "Fasting" still remains (in my humble opinion) an economic as well as devout option. In our modern position, where "fasting" is more of an option rather than a neccesity for most people, it's a conscious decision. I applaud this challange.
I was in no way denegrating or demeaning the "fasting" position. I was merely trying to place it in the context in which it was written in the Gospel of Matthew.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
FASTING AND TREASURES
Does anyone really "fast" anymore? Supposedly the Jews do during one of their Holydays but I don't know anyone else who does. Of course, since they were all Jewish at the time this chapter might have been more relevant but today, these are throwaway verses which seem to be written to tidy up loose ends.
But both 'fasting" and "treasures" deal with material things. Fasting = how much food you may or may not have and "treasures" = how much wealth you own. Both are matters of income in my opinion. To some, I might seem to fast when I'm just regulating my food costs. Even if you have abundant food, I'd think God would want you to fast to understand the needs of those who are less lucky. But that just might be me.
On the other hand, I have several "treasures". This chapter says "For where your treasure is, there will be your heart also". My treasures are a reminder of a different world when I was younger. Photographs, etc. "Moth nor rust" will consume them as Matthew says. Indeed, I may be dust first.
But both 'fasting" and "treasures" deal with material things. Fasting = how much food you may or may not have and "treasures" = how much wealth you own. Both are matters of income in my opinion. To some, I might seem to fast when I'm just regulating my food costs. Even if you have abundant food, I'd think God would want you to fast to understand the needs of those who are less lucky. But that just might be me.
On the other hand, I have several "treasures". This chapter says "For where your treasure is, there will be your heart also". My treasures are a reminder of a different world when I was younger. Photographs, etc. "Moth nor rust" will consume them as Matthew says. Indeed, I may be dust first.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
ROYALTY
I watched the movie "The Queen" today starring Helen Mirren. Did you know Mirren is also famous for showing her tits in many movies? Anyhoo, she was awesome. I thoroughly enjoyed the whole movie and think she should have won the Oscar.
Since I am in "Bible Verus Mode", the most notable thing for me was this quote that was shown at the beginning :
"Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown".
Henry IV Part II Quote (Act III, Scene I)
Interesting in light of what Bible Versus is about. I'll get to it later, and I may even use the quote again, but it just jumped out at me.
Since I am in "Bible Verus Mode", the most notable thing for me was this quote that was shown at the beginning :
"Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown".
Henry IV Part II Quote (Act III, Scene I)
Interesting in light of what Bible Versus is about. I'll get to it later, and I may even use the quote again, but it just jumped out at me.
Friday, May 25, 2007
WHY?
Because I think Jesus would love this expression. He was about expressing who one is, regardless of other people.
Because I know RuPaul and her message had always been one of "Love everyone".
Because it's funny and I think God has a great sense of humor.
Because I love it too. So pphhhttttt.
Because I know RuPaul and her message had always been one of "Love everyone".
Because it's funny and I think God has a great sense of humor.
Because I love it too. So pphhhttttt.
EXTRA FRIDAY THANKSGIVING
Special extra thanks to Susan and Aubrey. Your donations to Bible Versus have made a HUGE difference to me as it's the end of the month and I'm basically surviving on Doritos and Sprite. Thank you so much. You rock.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
FRIDAY THANKSGIVING
A million years ago my dear friend Real Live Preacher introduced a feature on his blog called a chat room. I was an avid participant at the time. In the process, I became Internet Friends with two people - Reverend Sean and Spidey.
Last Sunday I was privileged to meet both of them in person here in LA. We had lunch at the infamous "Breakfast Place" I've written about with Polly. I'm the Old Man with the grey beard. Here are some pics :
So my Friday Thanksgiving goes to them for having a great lunch and being able to meet two of my friends. Also, Rev. Sean paid for lunch!!! Yay!!
You are both angels of mine who I adore.
If any of you can donate to me and Polly, know you are angels as well!!
Last Sunday I was privileged to meet both of them in person here in LA. We had lunch at the infamous "Breakfast Place" I've written about with Polly. I'm the Old Man with the grey beard. Here are some pics :
So my Friday Thanksgiving goes to them for having a great lunch and being able to meet two of my friends. Also, Rev. Sean paid for lunch!!! Yay!!
You are both angels of mine who I adore.
If any of you can donate to me and Polly, know you are angels as well!!
PRAYER
This is a biggie. HUGE. Prayer is one of those things we see and hear all the time and seems to transcend all religions. In movies, when the protagonist is about to face some terrible feat, he/she often mutters a hasty prayer - "God help us all" or something along those lines. Seemingly noone in the audience turns to their companion and says "what the fuck?". However Jesus suggests we say our prayers "off screen", in private. Also, he adds, maybe not such theatrical wording. It seems God isn't so much impressed by the cliched prayers. Churches might want to keep that in mind.
Even I've muttered a prayer or two in my day, whether from strife or respect for others. One thing about a prayer is that it's like releasing a balloon into the sky. You don't know where or if it will reach a destination but you assume at some time it will and you hope whoever finds it will know it had intention.
This chapter contains one of the most famous prayers, one that I even know by heart (in the King James Version). My memory goes "Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name...". I would picture God creating and making art somewhere in the clouds, painting joviallly for us mere mortals. In some ways, I still like the inclusion of the word "art", outmoded as it is. Like Art, God is a constant creation. Plus "hallowed" reminded me of Halloween and candy.
So in this prayer, we basically ask God to feed us (daily bread), help us pay our bills (forgive us our debts) and keep us out of trouble (deliver us from evil). I can totally align with that (plus someone to clean my apartment). Jesus also throws in the "forgiving others" thing (a recurring theme already). Hopefully there are others out there forgiving me too. God knows, I could use it.
Even I've muttered a prayer or two in my day, whether from strife or respect for others. One thing about a prayer is that it's like releasing a balloon into the sky. You don't know where or if it will reach a destination but you assume at some time it will and you hope whoever finds it will know it had intention.
This chapter contains one of the most famous prayers, one that I even know by heart (in the King James Version). My memory goes "Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name...". I would picture God creating and making art somewhere in the clouds, painting joviallly for us mere mortals. In some ways, I still like the inclusion of the word "art", outmoded as it is. Like Art, God is a constant creation. Plus "hallowed" reminded me of Halloween and candy.
So in this prayer, we basically ask God to feed us (daily bread), help us pay our bills (forgive us our debts) and keep us out of trouble (deliver us from evil). I can totally align with that (plus someone to clean my apartment). Jesus also throws in the "forgiving others" thing (a recurring theme already). Hopefully there are others out there forgiving me too. God knows, I could use it.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
THE DIVING BELL
Julian Schanabel. the film director and artist, has debuted a new film at the Cannes Film Festival called "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" about a writer who becomes paralyzed and can only communicate by blinking through one eye.
"Jean-Dominique Bauby lived only about a year with his severe disability, but he was able to complete his memoir, which became an international bestseller. (He died just 10 days after its French publication.) As Schnabel observes, it was a book written by a man on the very edge of human life, almost literally a message from beyond. "What he was able to do -- he was kind of talking to us from the grave," said Schnabel. "That's unusual, because most people don't. He was able to talk about the things he regretted, and about how to grab onto the present and make something out of it. If I could have shown this to my dad, he might have thought, 'OK, you know what? I'm going to pass through this thing. I'm going to go back up into the side of the glacier and be part of everything. I'm not going to be so scared."
(From Salon's review of the movie.)
I can relate to this and it touches why I write Bible Versus. Grab onto the present and make something of it. Grab onto the glacier. We are all, in the end, on some point on the glacier. Our boots with their hard, spikey soles are really just an illusion.
"Jean-Dominique Bauby lived only about a year with his severe disability, but he was able to complete his memoir, which became an international bestseller. (He died just 10 days after its French publication.) As Schnabel observes, it was a book written by a man on the very edge of human life, almost literally a message from beyond. "What he was able to do -- he was kind of talking to us from the grave," said Schnabel. "That's unusual, because most people don't. He was able to talk about the things he regretted, and about how to grab onto the present and make something out of it. If I could have shown this to my dad, he might have thought, 'OK, you know what? I'm going to pass through this thing. I'm going to go back up into the side of the glacier and be part of everything. I'm not going to be so scared."
(From Salon's review of the movie.)
I can relate to this and it touches why I write Bible Versus. Grab onto the present and make something of it. Grab onto the glacier. We are all, in the end, on some point on the glacier. Our boots with their hard, spikey soles are really just an illusion.
SRO RERUN : HOW TO LOVE
A part of this post I wrote over 4 years ago (!!!) on February 14th, 2003 has been quoted on many many blogs. I thought I'd share with you the whole thing. A recent commenter here on Bible Versus raised a question about how I could state "it's as easy to Love as to Hate". I hope this gives them some guidance and sound advice in that area.
HOW TO LOVE
Wear your favorite Superhero suit. All the time. Do not wear the Outfit you wear to work - the one that’s busy, preoccupied or stressed. Indeed, you are working all the time now. Love is work. Your Love Suit should be Locked and Loaded 24/7.
Listen. Do not have an opinion while you listen because frankly, your opinion doesn’t hold much water outside of Your Universe. Just listen. Listen until their brain has been twisted like a dripping towel and what they have to say is all over the floor. What else do you need to Listen to? You already know what You think about work/dinner/You. Now it’s time to absorb what another creature on this little planet has to say. Or not. Listening doesn’t need words. All you have to do is be Present.
Share your M&Ms. There are bags and bags of them all over the place. If you give them one of yours, even one of the green ones, you will not be lacking. Honust Injun. Now apply this to Time, Concern, Touch, Interest and Being Vulnerable.
Oh, and everything else. Love means giving it all away.
Helmet. Check. Seatbelts. Check. Air bags. Check. Little Paper Vomit Bag. Check. You better check, Bitch, because this is going to hurt You more than it hurts Me. You will break an arm or you will break a nail but if you aren’t in a Position of Breakabililty, You ain’t doing it right. Bend over a little more. Stick out your tongue. Do your Dork Dance. Oops... see. Love is not closing your eyes and wishing you were somewhere else because - oh, did I mention this part? - you are going on the ride whether you like it or not. Done deal. Thanks for your ticket. See ya at the Ring Toss.
This is an All You Can Eat Buffet and you will never Get Full. Now’s the time to Go Rosie, Outdo Oprah, Get John Goodman on our ass. Every single thing you touch is Finger-Lickin’ Good. You may have to knock off the Parsley and the Toothpicks but without a doubt, the Manna is there. Toothpicks are for CheeseBalls. Get to the Good Stuff.
Salad? I’d love some! Pasta? Why I think I will! Desert? Are you kidding?
Stuff donuts in your pockets. You can push Green Beans up your nose. If you stand, it expands your stomach. Stick your finger down your throat and start over.
Manga. Bon Appetite. Pull up a chair. C’mon, let’s Eat.
HOW TO LOVE
Wear your favorite Superhero suit. All the time. Do not wear the Outfit you wear to work - the one that’s busy, preoccupied or stressed. Indeed, you are working all the time now. Love is work. Your Love Suit should be Locked and Loaded 24/7.
Listen. Do not have an opinion while you listen because frankly, your opinion doesn’t hold much water outside of Your Universe. Just listen. Listen until their brain has been twisted like a dripping towel and what they have to say is all over the floor. What else do you need to Listen to? You already know what You think about work/dinner/You. Now it’s time to absorb what another creature on this little planet has to say. Or not. Listening doesn’t need words. All you have to do is be Present.
Share your M&Ms. There are bags and bags of them all over the place. If you give them one of yours, even one of the green ones, you will not be lacking. Honust Injun. Now apply this to Time, Concern, Touch, Interest and Being Vulnerable.
Oh, and everything else. Love means giving it all away.
Helmet. Check. Seatbelts. Check. Air bags. Check. Little Paper Vomit Bag. Check. You better check, Bitch, because this is going to hurt You more than it hurts Me. You will break an arm or you will break a nail but if you aren’t in a Position of Breakabililty, You ain’t doing it right. Bend over a little more. Stick out your tongue. Do your Dork Dance. Oops... see. Love is not closing your eyes and wishing you were somewhere else because - oh, did I mention this part? - you are going on the ride whether you like it or not. Done deal. Thanks for your ticket. See ya at the Ring Toss.
This is an All You Can Eat Buffet and you will never Get Full. Now’s the time to Go Rosie, Outdo Oprah, Get John Goodman on our ass. Every single thing you touch is Finger-Lickin’ Good. You may have to knock off the Parsley and the Toothpicks but without a doubt, the Manna is there. Toothpicks are for CheeseBalls. Get to the Good Stuff.
Salad? I’d love some! Pasta? Why I think I will! Desert? Are you kidding?
Stuff donuts in your pockets. You can push Green Beans up your nose. If you stand, it expands your stomach. Stick your finger down your throat and start over.
Manga. Bon Appetite. Pull up a chair. C’mon, let’s Eat.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
PILLS
I got a new drug regimen from my doctor this week.
My "old" regiman had been working fine, meaning I was on hold. My T-Cell count, the white blood cells that fight infection, has hovered around 200. (The "normal" range is 500-900 but who am I to complain.) My "Viral Load" (meaning the amount of HIV virus in my blood stream) has for the past year or so been around 5000. Not great (which would conceivably be "undetectable") but not the worst. I'd become accustomed to the regime and it's perimeters.
But my doctor tells me there are "New! Improved!" protease inhibitors. Ones that, I assume, could conceivably make my Viral Load less and then, well, I don't know what. Give me more energy? Make me less stressed? Send me a check every month? I'm interested to see if there's a difference.
Ultimately in some ways I am a Lab Rat. Perhaps future patients with HIV will learn from my course of therapy as to what they should pursue. Perhaps, one day. this gift I give with my "left hand" (see last post) will elicit a "thank you" from someone who hopefully hasn't had to make the same long journey I've had.
In the meantime, I just take the pills and hope they don't make me feel ill.
My "old" regiman had been working fine, meaning I was on hold. My T-Cell count, the white blood cells that fight infection, has hovered around 200. (The "normal" range is 500-900 but who am I to complain.) My "Viral Load" (meaning the amount of HIV virus in my blood stream) has for the past year or so been around 5000. Not great (which would conceivably be "undetectable") but not the worst. I'd become accustomed to the regime and it's perimeters.
But my doctor tells me there are "New! Improved!" protease inhibitors. Ones that, I assume, could conceivably make my Viral Load less and then, well, I don't know what. Give me more energy? Make me less stressed? Send me a check every month? I'm interested to see if there's a difference.
Ultimately in some ways I am a Lab Rat. Perhaps future patients with HIV will learn from my course of therapy as to what they should pursue. Perhaps, one day. this gift I give with my "left hand" (see last post) will elicit a "thank you" from someone who hopefully hasn't had to make the same long journey I've had.
In the meantime, I just take the pills and hope they don't make me feel ill.
ALMS FOR THE POOR
"Beware of practicing your piety before others in order to be seen by them, for then you have no reward from your Father in heaven."
I am often the recipient of piety given my circumstances. Whether it be care packages I receive once a month from a beloved friend or Paypal donations I've gotten from kind and generous readers of Bible Versus. Sometimes, I'm the only witness to such generosity. Sometimes, as in my weekly feature "Friday Thanksgiving" I make such generosity public (in a way). It's my effort to acknowledge how much I appreciate the overwhelming kindness of those who I've often never even met in person. Appreciation is an intregal part of my personality. I say "Thank you" to anyone who shows me kindness, however small, because I want them to understand how they have contributed to the world around them. I want them to know that they have been heard. "Thank you" is part of listening to what someone has said by their actions. It talks to who they are or wish to be.
"But when you give alms. do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your alms may be done in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you."
Thanking and appreciating the alms of others - be it opening a door or a donation to a man living with AIDS in Los Angeles - is a way to represent the "father" or "mother" or those who've come before you. It's a way of representing god on earth and an opportunity for the receiver to represent this god back. It's a gift and invitation to become Divine.
I am often the recipient of piety given my circumstances. Whether it be care packages I receive once a month from a beloved friend or Paypal donations I've gotten from kind and generous readers of Bible Versus. Sometimes, I'm the only witness to such generosity. Sometimes, as in my weekly feature "Friday Thanksgiving" I make such generosity public (in a way). It's my effort to acknowledge how much I appreciate the overwhelming kindness of those who I've often never even met in person. Appreciation is an intregal part of my personality. I say "Thank you" to anyone who shows me kindness, however small, because I want them to understand how they have contributed to the world around them. I want them to know that they have been heard. "Thank you" is part of listening to what someone has said by their actions. It talks to who they are or wish to be.
"But when you give alms. do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your alms may be done in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you."
Thanking and appreciating the alms of others - be it opening a door or a donation to a man living with AIDS in Los Angeles - is a way to represent the "father" or "mother" or those who've come before you. It's a way of representing god on earth and an opportunity for the receiver to represent this god back. It's a gift and invitation to become Divine.
Monday, May 21, 2007
LOVE FOR ENEMIES
This is an interesting idea. Love your enemies. "For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous". God is an equal opportunity employer.
In other words, God isn't being judgemental. He pretty much sees us all the same. Which isn't odd because, uh, we pretty much are all the same. Even tax collectors are mentioned, surely an important point for Matthew. Who, it seems, are we to judge and assume who God has an opinion about ( ATTN: JERRY FALWELL)?
"Be perfect, Jesus says, as your heavenly father is perfect".
It's not easy being perfect. It's pretty much impossible for humans today. But to strive to love all others, even the dreaded tax collectors, is a start. It's as easy to love as to hate. There is a moment of decision, which I would like to think Jesus realized, where we can tell ourselves to turn this emotion, this Human Emotion we're burdened with, into Love. Or at least understanding. It's one small inching forward into the realm of Perfect. I'd like to try to do that. Human as I am.
In other words, God isn't being judgemental. He pretty much sees us all the same. Which isn't odd because, uh, we pretty much are all the same. Even tax collectors are mentioned, surely an important point for Matthew. Who, it seems, are we to judge and assume who God has an opinion about ( ATTN: JERRY FALWELL)?
"Be perfect, Jesus says, as your heavenly father is perfect".
It's not easy being perfect. It's pretty much impossible for humans today. But to strive to love all others, even the dreaded tax collectors, is a start. It's as easy to love as to hate. There is a moment of decision, which I would like to think Jesus realized, where we can tell ourselves to turn this emotion, this Human Emotion we're burdened with, into Love. Or at least understanding. It's one small inching forward into the realm of Perfect. I'd like to try to do that. Human as I am.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Friday, May 18, 2007
SRO RERUN : HOUSE
HOUSE
I love your house.
I love how driving up, gravel crunching like popcorn under our seats, it’s all “Oh this house is going to look like this” but inside it’s not Like That at all. Where’s the Box? Everyone has seen Boxes in Movies, we’re all comfortable with Boxness. It’s not even Square, for Christ’s sake. It’s like bubbles children make with wire hangers, enormous beings meandering over the lawn. It shimmers and shifts and if you try to pinpoint it, try to make it fit an agenda, it bursts. Better to let it do what bubbles do, do what houses do. As Curtis said, “In the steeple of beautiful people, there’s only one kind.”
You have the biggest Dining Table I have ever seen. Bigger than in a movie about Camelot. Bigger than in Citizen Kane. So big, everyone can fit around it with extra room for the All Elbows. All Elbows also tend to be messy eaters and my white shirts have been scientifically proven to contain Sauce Magnets. All Elbows will quickly swing to say something to me or about me and suddenly I’m covered in red like a Kill Bill extra. At your house, your table, I can wear what I want.
In the Living Room, the huge overstuffed chairs remind me How To Swing My Legs. I can flop them over the arm and slide down until everything is Chairworld around me. Across the rug, you do the same and we are two island cliffs facing across miles and miles of ocean, our Lighthouse Thoughtbeams keeping us company.
In your house I don’t have to talk and I like that. There’s the creak of a floorboard, the cat, a piano - no, windchimes - and the beams nod and shift. When I do talk, my words act like catnip. The cat is fascinated by them, eyes wide and tail twitching. Finally he stands and licks his paws before looking for a place to nap. That’s what cats do, you know that.
Sure enough, when I leave the cat is asleep on the porch. Now his tail twitches from dreams of Cat Heaven, full of Big Chairs and endless tablescraps. Our goodbyes are short, our visit stands alone and I will be back. The cat will stay and be part of your house forever. When I get home and open my bag, inside I’ll find the part you have given me.
(This was for my dear friend, Real Live Preacher)
FRIDAY THANKSGIVING
Thank you dear readers and friends for your support this past week. As always, I'm deeply honored and humbled over your thoughts and donations. Albert, Nikki and the RLP all are the best!
xxx - Hugh
xxx - Hugh
Thursday, May 17, 2007
VINDICTIVE
It's oddly appropriate that given Jerry Falwell's death and his ignorant oaths against homosexuals, the next verses would be about about "vindication".
Absconding from vindication is not easy. Not at all. I have been called a "fag" on the streets of NYC. "Hey Fag! Wanna suck my dick?" "I already have a toothpick". It would have been hard, if not impossible, for me to turn the other cheek. I think there were probably several other tenets for goodness that were abused before mine.
What I do agree with, however, is not letting the power of other's prejudices get to who you are. The problem I described above with the Fag-Basher wasn't mine, it was his. "If anyone forces you to go one mile. go also the second mile." It's so fucking hard to show you are the "Better Person". I may have failed that time but I tend to turn the other cheek in the epitaths I heard from people like Jerry Falwell during my life. I almost feel sorry for those who don't know the joy of accepting all of us as humans and the godliness we all have to offer.
Absconding from vindication is not easy. Not at all. I have been called a "fag" on the streets of NYC. "Hey Fag! Wanna suck my dick?" "I already have a toothpick". It would have been hard, if not impossible, for me to turn the other cheek. I think there were probably several other tenets for goodness that were abused before mine.
What I do agree with, however, is not letting the power of other's prejudices get to who you are. The problem I described above with the Fag-Basher wasn't mine, it was his. "If anyone forces you to go one mile. go also the second mile." It's so fucking hard to show you are the "Better Person". I may have failed that time but I tend to turn the other cheek in the epitaths I heard from people like Jerry Falwell during my life. I almost feel sorry for those who don't know the joy of accepting all of us as humans and the godliness we all have to offer.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
WTF?
OF all the admonishments thus far in Matthew, the one concerning "oaths" may have been the one I tiptoed into most timidly. After all, since I can't legally marry because I'm gay, committing adultery or becoming divorced are technically impossible. Whew.
However, as I think of an "oath" as the more Southern term "cussing", I was thinking I was in trouble. I love the word fuck. As fas as I'm concerned, it's one of the most versitile words in the English language. It can be a verb, it can be an exclamation, It can be used angrily or to great humor. I tend to use it in a humorous context with a laugh and a giggle. "WTF?" is a great punchline for almost any story. Also, it's generally brilliant phoneticly. The F, the CK all make a great sound together. There's only one other word I feel has more impact and though while it's often used casually in England, I'm too much of a gentleman to use it here.
Yet the oaths chapter sites four specific instances -
1. Swearing by Heaven : not really my cup of tea. I'm a more simple "fuck" kind of guy.
2. Swearing by the Earth : I'm not even sure what that means. "Earth damn you!" Oooo... I'm shaking.
3. Swearing by Jerusalem : Washington D.C., I can see. Not so much Jerusalem from where I stand.
4. Swearing by your head : "For you can not make one hair white or black". Too late there. My hair's are all turned white or gray already. Indeed, swearing by an addled, erratic vessel wouldn't make much sense.
What I do LOVE LOVE LOVE is when J.C. says "Let your word be Yes, Yes or No, No". Boundaries. I had an ex who when we'd argue would reply to my statements with "Whatever". This is probably the most evil phrase to enter the common lexicon. Basically, when used earnestly, it means "I don't care about you".
Say YES. This is what I believe in! Or NO, I can not stand behind that! Jesus perhaps saw "oaths" as a way of avoiding responsibility. I don't think it was just about words. I'd rather think it was a way of having his disciples take control and own their own actions, actions that would include their choices to follow him.
However, as I think of an "oath" as the more Southern term "cussing", I was thinking I was in trouble. I love the word fuck. As fas as I'm concerned, it's one of the most versitile words in the English language. It can be a verb, it can be an exclamation, It can be used angrily or to great humor. I tend to use it in a humorous context with a laugh and a giggle. "WTF?" is a great punchline for almost any story. Also, it's generally brilliant phoneticly. The F, the CK all make a great sound together. There's only one other word I feel has more impact and though while it's often used casually in England, I'm too much of a gentleman to use it here.
Yet the oaths chapter sites four specific instances -
1. Swearing by Heaven : not really my cup of tea. I'm a more simple "fuck" kind of guy.
2. Swearing by the Earth : I'm not even sure what that means. "Earth damn you!" Oooo... I'm shaking.
3. Swearing by Jerusalem : Washington D.C., I can see. Not so much Jerusalem from where I stand.
4. Swearing by your head : "For you can not make one hair white or black". Too late there. My hair's are all turned white or gray already. Indeed, swearing by an addled, erratic vessel wouldn't make much sense.
What I do LOVE LOVE LOVE is when J.C. says "Let your word be Yes, Yes or No, No". Boundaries. I had an ex who when we'd argue would reply to my statements with "Whatever". This is probably the most evil phrase to enter the common lexicon. Basically, when used earnestly, it means "I don't care about you".
Say YES. This is what I believe in! Or NO, I can not stand behind that! Jesus perhaps saw "oaths" as a way of avoiding responsibility. I don't think it was just about words. I'd rather think it was a way of having his disciples take control and own their own actions, actions that would include their choices to follow him.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Monday, May 14, 2007
ADULTERY/DIVORCE
Here's a section where I have an issue with what Jesus supposedly says.
"But I say to you, anyone who has looked at a woman with lust has already commited adultery in his heart."
Naturally this brings to mind the infamous interview with Jimmy Carter in Playboy magazine where he "confesses" to such a sin. But is "lust" or primordial attraction a sin? In some ways I think such "lust" is part of our innate urge to propogate. I hardly think "lust" is something under which we have control. Even I, an exuberant asexual being without an interest in a relationship, often see a man and think "He's hot". Not as a sexual ploy but just as an observation. I wish him well, knowing others who are more available will see him as such.
To tear out that eye would seem to be a wrong to that person. I think everyone should get whatever, spoken or unspoken, credit they deserve. I acknowledge everyone I can, man or woman. Telling someone they are looking hot is the least I can do.
As for divorce, and I've been through a few, I sincerely don't think you should stay with someone whom you don't get along with. I don't think it's what the Spirit would want. Perhaps the "rules" at the time were different but I don't agree.
My take is Jesus may have been speaking on a higher plane. If you commit to an ideal - whether it's God or some other belief - stay with the course. Any road is rocky and jumping ship when a slight problem occurs is merely an easy out for what you believe. Divorce from an honest commitment may be an option but it's not always the best one.
"But I say to you, anyone who has looked at a woman with lust has already commited adultery in his heart."
Naturally this brings to mind the infamous interview with Jimmy Carter in Playboy magazine where he "confesses" to such a sin. But is "lust" or primordial attraction a sin? In some ways I think such "lust" is part of our innate urge to propogate. I hardly think "lust" is something under which we have control. Even I, an exuberant asexual being without an interest in a relationship, often see a man and think "He's hot". Not as a sexual ploy but just as an observation. I wish him well, knowing others who are more available will see him as such.
To tear out that eye would seem to be a wrong to that person. I think everyone should get whatever, spoken or unspoken, credit they deserve. I acknowledge everyone I can, man or woman. Telling someone they are looking hot is the least I can do.
As for divorce, and I've been through a few, I sincerely don't think you should stay with someone whom you don't get along with. I don't think it's what the Spirit would want. Perhaps the "rules" at the time were different but I don't agree.
My take is Jesus may have been speaking on a higher plane. If you commit to an ideal - whether it's God or some other belief - stay with the course. Any road is rocky and jumping ship when a slight problem occurs is merely an easy out for what you believe. Divorce from an honest commitment may be an option but it's not always the best one.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
SRO RERUN : HULA BOOLA
RULES OF THE HULA BOOLA
1. Live life in the Hula Boola. Years of Scientific Study have found Hula Boola to be the answer and who are we to argue? It’s the shape your mouth makes when you whistle, when you nursed from your Mother, when you blew out candles on your seventh birthday cake, when you kiss and when you make fish faces. Hoo-la Boo-la.
2. Non-members of the Hula Boola may try to distract you from your Mission with their own clever phrases, angry rants, misguided intentions and Undercover Spies. Do not be swayed for nothing they say can hurt you, who you really are, the Hula Boola within.
3. Share the Hula Boola. Pass it on to everyone you come across and sneak it inside every word you say. How are you today? (Hula Boola) I’ll take both paper and plastic please. (Hula Boola) Thanks for the advice. (Hula Boola).
4. When someone passes the Hula Boola to you, take it gratefully and without hesitation. Feel free to add it to your own Hula Boola which you carry like the World’s Biggest Foil Ball. Eventually your entire body will be filled with Hula Boola, lining the inside of your skin like Crazy People Hats keeping Aliens from reading their thoughts.
5. Do not underestimate anyone’s ability, even Crazy People, to have some Hula Boola. As an official member of Hula Boola, you are sworn to seek out and enjoy their offering even if they are unable to locate it themselves. Hint: It’s in the Big Picture.
6. Feed your Hula Boola every day and at night, when you’ve finally made it to bed and begun to drift over your day, your world, your life, you’ll find your Hula Boola curled against you making you feel alive. Place your hand on your Hula Boola, find it’s heart and soon the two of you will gently synch before your dreams are real and you fly away.
7. We are behind you 100%. You are part of the Club, in the know, picked first for dodgeball, Most Popular, the cat’s meow, Employee of the Month. We don’t need to tell you that but if it helps, call your favorite Hula Boola Representative and one of us will be happy to assist you. While you wait, enjoy the music.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
STOP. SHIFT. SUBJECT CHANGE.
I thought I'd take a moment here to talk about the response I've received over Bible Versus. Comments. emails, donations, all of it.
1. Not one has been bad. I've haven't been accused of being blasphemous or a heretic (yet! hope springs eternal!). Noone has asked me why I presume to be able to write about the NT, given that a majority of Institutional Religions question my qualifications as a gay man to enter this area. A number of people have, in fact, told me they intend to reread the Bible due to BV. Not what I intended or expected but hey, we love a party.
2. I am not a literalist. I don't read the Bible as a factual encounter of what happened at the time. In my point of view, the Bible is largely metaphorical and I read it as such. Jesus may or may not have said what the Bible relates but for me, more importantly, is why the event has been recorded at all. What is the import of the telling and how does that relate to me? I am offering my interpretation of an interpretation of what might have possibly happened somewhere in time.
This idea is highly freeing. None of my ideas, however off the traditional mark, are therefore wrong. They are what I see and I fully admit that. I've gotten a number of thoughts about how, due to translations and whatnot, things may have been misinterpreted. Interesting, but I'm in no position and have little interest in what others have thought other than what I read in the version of the NT I've chosen (and was lead) to use.
3. Be clear, I'm not doing this for any particular spiritual quest. I may (and have) gained value from this exercise thus far and will probably see more. But I don't deign to call myself "Christian". Frankly I doubt I could live up to that title. I don't pray, I don't go to church and I don't talk about Christ in my "normal" life. I cuss, I drink and I hate Pat Robertson (although I do love Tammy Baker). I appreciate and honor the ideals of Jesus Christ. How could you not? Respect, love and appreciation are ideas anyone should uphold. But I don't take them lightly and I feel they ultimately are things people should create and discover from within.
4. Finally, in a world where I have a limited number of reasons to perservere, I do. Faith, I believe, some people call it. Polly is my Faith. Sharing this journey with you has taken on a Faith of it's own. Those of you generous enough to donate, give me faith in other people's belief and interest in me. Like a monk in a self-imposed monastary who has little upon which to extract being or purpose, I have focused on the serenity and love I can find around me to choose to live my life.
1. Not one has been bad. I've haven't been accused of being blasphemous or a heretic (yet! hope springs eternal!). Noone has asked me why I presume to be able to write about the NT, given that a majority of Institutional Religions question my qualifications as a gay man to enter this area. A number of people have, in fact, told me they intend to reread the Bible due to BV. Not what I intended or expected but hey, we love a party.
2. I am not a literalist. I don't read the Bible as a factual encounter of what happened at the time. In my point of view, the Bible is largely metaphorical and I read it as such. Jesus may or may not have said what the Bible relates but for me, more importantly, is why the event has been recorded at all. What is the import of the telling and how does that relate to me? I am offering my interpretation of an interpretation of what might have possibly happened somewhere in time.
This idea is highly freeing. None of my ideas, however off the traditional mark, are therefore wrong. They are what I see and I fully admit that. I've gotten a number of thoughts about how, due to translations and whatnot, things may have been misinterpreted. Interesting, but I'm in no position and have little interest in what others have thought other than what I read in the version of the NT I've chosen (and was lead) to use.
3. Be clear, I'm not doing this for any particular spiritual quest. I may (and have) gained value from this exercise thus far and will probably see more. But I don't deign to call myself "Christian". Frankly I doubt I could live up to that title. I don't pray, I don't go to church and I don't talk about Christ in my "normal" life. I cuss, I drink and I hate Pat Robertson (although I do love Tammy Baker). I appreciate and honor the ideals of Jesus Christ. How could you not? Respect, love and appreciation are ideas anyone should uphold. But I don't take them lightly and I feel they ultimately are things people should create and discover from within.
4. Finally, in a world where I have a limited number of reasons to perservere, I do. Faith, I believe, some people call it. Polly is my Faith. Sharing this journey with you has taken on a Faith of it's own. Those of you generous enough to donate, give me faith in other people's belief and interest in me. Like a monk in a self-imposed monastary who has little upon which to extract being or purpose, I have focused on the serenity and love I can find around me to choose to live my life.
Friday, May 11, 2007
ANGER MANAGEMENT
According to Matthew, of all the human emotions Jesus could have addressed the first one was Anger.
Not a bad choice. Anger is certainly a universal feeling we all have at some time. Like Love, Anger has no reason or little choice. It comes upon us like a wave over a serene beach. One could say Anger is the opposite of Love while being the flip side of the same coin.
Personally, I've chosen to avoid anger by omitting the things that I've known to make me angry from my life. On the other hand, excepting what I express here (and Polly) , I've done the same for Love. Both take an enormous amount of energy and mental effort. Jesus. probably realizing our human preoccupation with both, tackles the easier of the two.
First he acknowledges the primal urge to just want to kill someone. Maybe not even literally, but sometimes.... GGGRRRRRR. That person who cut you off at the stoplight. I'm so there.
The answer - undeniably frustrating as it is and unbelievably difficult to comprehend - is ... wait for it ... forgiveness. NO! NO! NO! THEY WERE WRONG! They are ebil ebil fucktards!
The Good News? Yeah, they probably are. The Bad News? You just have to give up being Right. Jesus tells us to become something bigger, bigger than the Human Need to be Right, something Godly. God, for example, doesn't exactly go around needing to prove "Rightness".
"Come to terms guickly with your accuser while you are on the way to court".
The question is, "Who's zooming who?" The accuser becomes the accused. Where does blame ultimately lie?
Not a bad choice. Anger is certainly a universal feeling we all have at some time. Like Love, Anger has no reason or little choice. It comes upon us like a wave over a serene beach. One could say Anger is the opposite of Love while being the flip side of the same coin.
Personally, I've chosen to avoid anger by omitting the things that I've known to make me angry from my life. On the other hand, excepting what I express here (and Polly) , I've done the same for Love. Both take an enormous amount of energy and mental effort. Jesus. probably realizing our human preoccupation with both, tackles the easier of the two.
First he acknowledges the primal urge to just want to kill someone. Maybe not even literally, but sometimes.... GGGRRRRRR. That person who cut you off at the stoplight. I'm so there.
The answer - undeniably frustrating as it is and unbelievably difficult to comprehend - is ... wait for it ... forgiveness. NO! NO! NO! THEY WERE WRONG! They are ebil ebil fucktards!
The Good News? Yeah, they probably are. The Bad News? You just have to give up being Right. Jesus tells us to become something bigger, bigger than the Human Need to be Right, something Godly. God, for example, doesn't exactly go around needing to prove "Rightness".
"Come to terms guickly with your accuser while you are on the way to court".
The question is, "Who's zooming who?" The accuser becomes the accused. Where does blame ultimately lie?
Thursday, May 10, 2007
FRIDAY THANKSGIVING
My deepest love goes to Nikki who has always supported me in my time of need,
If any of you can donate to Bible Versus and myself in the future, you will not go unnoticed.
x - hugh
If any of you can donate to Bible Versus and myself in the future, you will not go unnoticed.
x - hugh
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
SALT AND LIGHT
It may be a testament to my gayness that reading this chapter only makes me think of the musical "Godspell".
LIGHT OF THE WORLD
You are the light of the world!
But if that light is under a bushel,
Brrr, it's lost something kind of crucial
You got to stay bright to be the light of the world
You are the salt of the earth
You are the salt of the earth
But if that salt has lost its flavor
It ain't got much in its favor
You can't have that fault and be the salt of the earth!
So let your light so shine before men
Let your light so shine
So that they might know some kindness again
We all need help to feel fine (let's have some wine!)
You are the city of God
You are the city of God
But if that city's on a hill
It's kinda hard to hide it well
You've got to stay pretty in the city of God
So let your light so shine before men
Let your light so shine
So that they might know some kindness again
We all need help to feel fine (let's have some wine!)
You are the light of the world
You are the light of the world
But the tallest candlestick
Ain't much good without a wick
You've got to live right to be the light of the world.
I remember seeing "Godspell" in 1977 when I was in High School. How I so wanted to be a part of the cast. During the intermission, they would invite the audience on stage to have "wine". So adult.
How does salt lose it's taste? It doesn't unless it becomes dull and unauthentic. Being who you are as a character and person is salt. Same with light. Hide who you are under a "bushel basket" and you are just a dull glow between the weaves. This to me is another example of Jesus expounding on the idea of expression as a feature of "Godliness". It's certainly something everyone can achieve.
LIGHT OF THE WORLD
You are the light of the world!
But if that light is under a bushel,
Brrr, it's lost something kind of crucial
You got to stay bright to be the light of the world
You are the salt of the earth
You are the salt of the earth
But if that salt has lost its flavor
It ain't got much in its favor
You can't have that fault and be the salt of the earth!
So let your light so shine before men
Let your light so shine
So that they might know some kindness again
We all need help to feel fine (let's have some wine!)
You are the city of God
You are the city of God
But if that city's on a hill
It's kinda hard to hide it well
You've got to stay pretty in the city of God
So let your light so shine before men
Let your light so shine
So that they might know some kindness again
We all need help to feel fine (let's have some wine!)
You are the light of the world
You are the light of the world
But the tallest candlestick
Ain't much good without a wick
You've got to live right to be the light of the world.
I remember seeing "Godspell" in 1977 when I was in High School. How I so wanted to be a part of the cast. During the intermission, they would invite the audience on stage to have "wine". So adult.
How does salt lose it's taste? It doesn't unless it becomes dull and unauthentic. Being who you are as a character and person is salt. Same with light. Hide who you are under a "bushel basket" and you are just a dull glow between the weaves. This to me is another example of Jesus expounding on the idea of expression as a feature of "Godliness". It's certainly something everyone can achieve.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
POWER POINT
As I've thought more about the Beautitudes, or the Beautiful Attitudes as I call them, I thought, "Jeez (literally) what a great Power Point presentation this would have made." With each idea, Jesus could have shown a new slide, perhaps even avoiding the use of a laser pointer by just using his Christfinger to point out the good stuff. "Here", he might point out, "are the meek". Looking meekish, natch.
(FYI, I personally decided that "meek" actually is more like "humble". Humble people are much more worth inheriting the Earth. No one likes a bragger, especially one that takes credit for other's work.)
Anyhoo, while mulling over my fantasy of a Jesus Superpower Point presentation, I get a call Saturday from Jeanene, the RLP's beloved and talented wife. Seems she was in Austin at some kind of Ministry conference, watching a Power Point presentation and they showed a quote on the screen from Me! Lil' Ol Me! The quote (which came from SRO) was this :
"I am not dying, not anymore than any of us are at any moment. We run, hopefully as fast as we can, and then everyone must stop. We can only choose how we handle the race."
Hugh Elliott, Standing Room Only
It most likely came from my page on The Quotations Page which is run by my long-time reader and friend Laura Moncur. It's amazing how words travel. Some of my quotes have turned up on other web sites as well.
I wonder how much they really know about me, a gay man in L.A. living his life with his sweet beagle. How I've been able to reach into so many minds far away is a miracle, a Power Point, Jesus would be proud of.
(FYI, I personally decided that "meek" actually is more like "humble". Humble people are much more worth inheriting the Earth. No one likes a bragger, especially one that takes credit for other's work.)
Anyhoo, while mulling over my fantasy of a Jesus Superpower Point presentation, I get a call Saturday from Jeanene, the RLP's beloved and talented wife. Seems she was in Austin at some kind of Ministry conference, watching a Power Point presentation and they showed a quote on the screen from Me! Lil' Ol Me! The quote (which came from SRO) was this :
"I am not dying, not anymore than any of us are at any moment. We run, hopefully as fast as we can, and then everyone must stop. We can only choose how we handle the race."
Hugh Elliott, Standing Room Only
It most likely came from my page on The Quotations Page which is run by my long-time reader and friend Laura Moncur. It's amazing how words travel. Some of my quotes have turned up on other web sites as well.
I wonder how much they really know about me, a gay man in L.A. living his life with his sweet beagle. How I've been able to reach into so many minds far away is a miracle, a Power Point, Jesus would be proud of.
Monday, May 7, 2007
THE BEATITUDES
Jesus than began to heal a lot of people. As mentioned before " demoniacs (whatever that means), epileptics. and paralytics", people who hadn't much say about their illness, came to him and Ta-Da!
Then he deilvered "The Beatitudes", "the blessings given by Jesus from the Sermon On The Mount" according to my dictionary. I love that word "Beatitudes". It's like a cross between Beautiful and Attitude. Let's take a look:
1. "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" - Not the "poor". We're still on hold. The poor in spirit, however, are going to heaven. Being poor in spirit is a redeemable cause. Yay, poor in Spirit!
2. "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted" - Um... OK. Few people spit on and scorn those who mourn.
3. "Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth" - Personally, being "meek" hasn't gotten me so far. Asking for donations to Bible Versus is WAY outside my bounderies of being "meek" yet it's gotten me the support I deserve. Maybe "meek" meant something different at the time. I don't know.
4. "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled". - This I get. There is no lack of righteousness in the world. Even if you create it yourself, just by talking to somone in need, this will be filled. There are scads of people around all of us who just look for a window into the world of concern.
5. "Blessed are the merciful. for they will receive mercy" - See above. A little mercy towards the people around you goes a long way.
6. "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God" - Indeed, even Betty has a email account with the big cheese. How pure do you have to be to see the wonder of a Hummingbird around the lilac? That's pretty pure. This is an easy one. Just go outside and look at trees and the wonder of grass growing around us closely. You're pretty pure.
7. "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called Children of God" - This can be a very personal thing in my opinion. Do you cause strife through gossip or conjecture or do you try to allow people to see both sides of the story? For non-Christian reasons, I try to avoid gossip. I achieve to speak honestly only about things I've actually heard (unless it's in a joking way). It doesn't make me a better person but it certainly gets me out of trouble in the future.
8. "Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake. for their's is the kingdom of heaven" - I've been persecuted for being Gay. Being Gay is a "righteous" thing for me. It is right for who I am. I look forward to a whole kingdom.
9. "Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely" on my account. Rejoice and be glad. For your reward is great in heaven, for the same way they prosecuted the prophet who were before you." - Gee, lessee who has persecuted me for being Gay or having AIDS on God's account? Gosh. it's so hard to pinpoint one. I wonder if any of them have read the bible? Have they read these, the Beautiful Attitudes? Have they taken any of them as the words, perhaps the most important words of Jesus Christ, as truth?
I wish I'd been there. I would have raised my hands and told Jesus he gave a great speech. I can't fish but where do we go next?
Then he deilvered "The Beatitudes", "the blessings given by Jesus from the Sermon On The Mount" according to my dictionary. I love that word "Beatitudes". It's like a cross between Beautiful and Attitude. Let's take a look:
1. "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" - Not the "poor". We're still on hold. The poor in spirit, however, are going to heaven. Being poor in spirit is a redeemable cause. Yay, poor in Spirit!
2. "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted" - Um... OK. Few people spit on and scorn those who mourn.
3. "Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth" - Personally, being "meek" hasn't gotten me so far. Asking for donations to Bible Versus is WAY outside my bounderies of being "meek" yet it's gotten me the support I deserve. Maybe "meek" meant something different at the time. I don't know.
4. "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled". - This I get. There is no lack of righteousness in the world. Even if you create it yourself, just by talking to somone in need, this will be filled. There are scads of people around all of us who just look for a window into the world of concern.
5. "Blessed are the merciful. for they will receive mercy" - See above. A little mercy towards the people around you goes a long way.
6. "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God" - Indeed, even Betty has a email account with the big cheese. How pure do you have to be to see the wonder of a Hummingbird around the lilac? That's pretty pure. This is an easy one. Just go outside and look at trees and the wonder of grass growing around us closely. You're pretty pure.
7. "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called Children of God" - This can be a very personal thing in my opinion. Do you cause strife through gossip or conjecture or do you try to allow people to see both sides of the story? For non-Christian reasons, I try to avoid gossip. I achieve to speak honestly only about things I've actually heard (unless it's in a joking way). It doesn't make me a better person but it certainly gets me out of trouble in the future.
8. "Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake. for their's is the kingdom of heaven" - I've been persecuted for being Gay. Being Gay is a "righteous" thing for me. It is right for who I am. I look forward to a whole kingdom.
9. "Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely" on my account. Rejoice and be glad. For your reward is great in heaven, for the same way they prosecuted the prophet who were before you." - Gee, lessee who has persecuted me for being Gay or having AIDS on God's account? Gosh. it's so hard to pinpoint one. I wonder if any of them have read the bible? Have they read these, the Beautiful Attitudes? Have they taken any of them as the words, perhaps the most important words of Jesus Christ, as truth?
I wish I'd been there. I would have raised my hands and told Jesus he gave a great speech. I can't fish but where do we go next?
Sunday, May 6, 2007
SUNDAY THANKSGIVING
Special shout-out to my dear friends Sean and Nikki who've helped me over the years with their generous donations. You rock. As I live on government disability, you have no no idea how your contributions make a difference. I heart you.
Saturday, May 5, 2007
JESUS STARTS HIS CAREER
So according to Matthew, soon after Jesus was baptised John the Baptist was arrested. Matthew gives us no details. It could have been Insider Trading. After all, if you're privy to the coming of Christ, you must have known some other secrets. Or the Fashion Police. Camel hair coats - so last season.
But Jesus took up the slack. He couldn't have been that old at the time. When I was younger and involved in Organized Religion, the entry point to the ministry was Youth Minister. You were a) young like they were (my First Crush Ever was on my Youth Minister) and b) youth aren't so opinionated about everything. My church was a big proponent of puppets. I was (natch) the Best Puppet Master along with the Youth Minister (sigh) and we'd lip-sync "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" for our rapt congregation at Sunday Night Services which are notoriously known as the laid back service of churchdom.
Some part of me likes to think Mary sewed puppets for Jesus. Maybe of Moses or some prophets that were popular at the time. Jesus would travel with his puppet show and someone would walk to the front with "demoniacs, epileptics or paralytics" and be healed!!! Yay puppets!
In the meantime he met Peter and his brother Andrew who were fishermen. "Follow me and I will make you fish for people". Then he met James and John (who were also fishermen) and they followed them too. Jesus liked fish. If he were here I would take him to my favorite sushi place. "Titi!", he would say,"Follow me!" I would be sad because I love grilled eel.
But Jesus took up the slack. He couldn't have been that old at the time. When I was younger and involved in Organized Religion, the entry point to the ministry was Youth Minister. You were a) young like they were (my First Crush Ever was on my Youth Minister) and b) youth aren't so opinionated about everything. My church was a big proponent of puppets. I was (natch) the Best Puppet Master along with the Youth Minister (sigh) and we'd lip-sync "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" for our rapt congregation at Sunday Night Services which are notoriously known as the laid back service of churchdom.
Some part of me likes to think Mary sewed puppets for Jesus. Maybe of Moses or some prophets that were popular at the time. Jesus would travel with his puppet show and someone would walk to the front with "demoniacs, epileptics or paralytics" and be healed!!! Yay puppets!
In the meantime he met Peter and his brother Andrew who were fishermen. "Follow me and I will make you fish for people". Then he met James and John (who were also fishermen) and they followed them too. Jesus liked fish. If he were here I would take him to my favorite sushi place. "Titi!", he would say,"Follow me!" I would be sad because I love grilled eel.
Friday, May 4, 2007
SRO RERUN : I WANT TO BE A PREACHER
SPIRIT
I want to be a Preacher.
I want to be a Preacher at the Church of Good God Almighty, I'm Loving You. The Church of Great Day In The Morning You Sure Look Nice. I want the church to be big as an airplane hanger and full of Everybody in the World, from little teeny babies to crooked old women who wear hats and fan themselves with the Program.
I want a choir too. I want them all to wear Satin Robes and sway back and forth like big happy birds perched in a row on a telephone line. We could have guest singers every week. Superstars like Sting would call me and beg to come sing in My Church because when he sang and the choir clapped along, all the people in the front pew had tears streaming down their shiny cheeks from being so happy.
Everyone would join in, even Me though I can't sing, but we'd sound so sweet and perfect we wouldn't need words. We'd open our mouths and out would pop God like sweet candy from Happy Pez Dispensers.
God would sing in toungues like some people do and with snakes like others and even in robes with a Big Hat just like the Pope himself. "Laba-daba-hibby-shubappy!!" Just like that.
When it was time for My Sermon, everyone would get real quiet and noone would talk, just like in a movie theater when the audience acts just like I like. They'd sit and listen to every word I said and I'd watch the words slide in one ear and get inside their skulls and do a little Happy Church Dance right behind their eyes.
"Hey Preacher Hugh!" those words would shout when their little heads popped out the other ear, "We're loving our New Home!"
I was preaching though, so I wouldn't stop but I might just smile bigger and wink at those words like a really slick band singer does with all the dressed up ladies swooning over his show. I'd be busy doing the Preacher Dance with God, grabbing words out of the basket I'd be holding and scattering them over the whole crowd like I was feeding all the chickens. Giving them some food to peck and something to cluck about all day and night.
When I was done, you'd know because the lights dimmed and just one spotlight hit my face, making my blue eyes gleam and shooting off SuperRays from the diamonds in my ears, Diamonds Personally Given to me by God for all the Good Work I'd done.
All the people would start jumping and yelling out "AMEN!" and "WHOOPY WHOOPY!" and "BINGO!" till we all got so full of the Good Stuff, we'd pop like a shaken can of soda and Joy would spray all over the walls.
That's when we'd wave our arms and clap our hands and the lights would flash and spark like fireflies fucking in the dark. We would be so Happy, I promised God we would, and I have on a Brand New Beautiful Suit to prove it.
At the end, I'd stand by the door and shake each and every hand, sometimes more than once and sometimes I'd just grab someone and we'd hug like grass hugs a hill. People would be going back to get in line again but I didn't care and when they got to me I'd just say "Well HOW have you been?" like they had been on a trip far, far away and had just come home.
After church, I'd have Church Supper on the porch with all my friends and there'd be bisquits and chicken and potatos and gravy and rice and sweet tea. Before we'd eat, we'd all grab hands and look each other in the eyes and say "Thanks for asking".
I want to be a Preacher.
I want to be a Preacher.
I want to be a Preacher at the Church of Good God Almighty, I'm Loving You. The Church of Great Day In The Morning You Sure Look Nice. I want the church to be big as an airplane hanger and full of Everybody in the World, from little teeny babies to crooked old women who wear hats and fan themselves with the Program.
I want a choir too. I want them all to wear Satin Robes and sway back and forth like big happy birds perched in a row on a telephone line. We could have guest singers every week. Superstars like Sting would call me and beg to come sing in My Church because when he sang and the choir clapped along, all the people in the front pew had tears streaming down their shiny cheeks from being so happy.
Everyone would join in, even Me though I can't sing, but we'd sound so sweet and perfect we wouldn't need words. We'd open our mouths and out would pop God like sweet candy from Happy Pez Dispensers.
God would sing in toungues like some people do and with snakes like others and even in robes with a Big Hat just like the Pope himself. "Laba-daba-hibby-shubappy!!" Just like that.
When it was time for My Sermon, everyone would get real quiet and noone would talk, just like in a movie theater when the audience acts just like I like. They'd sit and listen to every word I said and I'd watch the words slide in one ear and get inside their skulls and do a little Happy Church Dance right behind their eyes.
"Hey Preacher Hugh!" those words would shout when their little heads popped out the other ear, "We're loving our New Home!"
I was preaching though, so I wouldn't stop but I might just smile bigger and wink at those words like a really slick band singer does with all the dressed up ladies swooning over his show. I'd be busy doing the Preacher Dance with God, grabbing words out of the basket I'd be holding and scattering them over the whole crowd like I was feeding all the chickens. Giving them some food to peck and something to cluck about all day and night.
When I was done, you'd know because the lights dimmed and just one spotlight hit my face, making my blue eyes gleam and shooting off SuperRays from the diamonds in my ears, Diamonds Personally Given to me by God for all the Good Work I'd done.
All the people would start jumping and yelling out "AMEN!" and "WHOOPY WHOOPY!" and "BINGO!" till we all got so full of the Good Stuff, we'd pop like a shaken can of soda and Joy would spray all over the walls.
That's when we'd wave our arms and clap our hands and the lights would flash and spark like fireflies fucking in the dark. We would be so Happy, I promised God we would, and I have on a Brand New Beautiful Suit to prove it.
At the end, I'd stand by the door and shake each and every hand, sometimes more than once and sometimes I'd just grab someone and we'd hug like grass hugs a hill. People would be going back to get in line again but I didn't care and when they got to me I'd just say "Well HOW have you been?" like they had been on a trip far, far away and had just come home.
After church, I'd have Church Supper on the porch with all my friends and there'd be bisquits and chicken and potatos and gravy and rice and sweet tea. Before we'd eat, we'd all grab hands and look each other in the eyes and say "Thanks for asking".
I want to be a Preacher.
FRIDAY THANKSGIVING
This will be my ongoing thanks to those of you who've generally donated to Bible Versus recently. I'll only be using first names but you know who you are. Your generosity and love does not go unnoticed.
Nikki
Christoph
Janis
Jayne
Albert
Big hugs and kisses to all of you!
Nikki
Christoph
Janis
Jayne
Albert
Big hugs and kisses to all of you!
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
INTO THE FIRE
After Jesus was baptised, he was supposedly led into the wilderness by the Spirit to be tempted by the devil. With friends like that...
Frankly I don't think this tempter was very high on the Hell Chain. He's not called the Capital D "Devil". He also may be the lamest tempter ever.
Example A : Jesus fasted for 40 days and 40 nights. (Note to self - what is it about the number 40? Wasn't Noah's Ark on sea the same amount of days?) At the end of this time Jesus was famished. No shock there, I stand in line for 20 minutes at a restaurant and I'm ready to eat a baby. So the Lame Tempter says to Jesus (sort of) "If you're so great, turn these rocks into bread to eat."
Uh... BREAD? That's the most tempting thing you could come up with? Yeah, I'll use my god powers to conjure a big bag of Wonder Bread. How about turn these rocks into Paula Deen making fried chicken and homemade mac n' cheese? Now there's a temptation. Wuss.
Jesus snaps back "One does not live by bread alone." (DUH) Jesus ; 1, Tempter : 0.
Example B : Then the tempter takes Jesus to the top of a temple in the Holy City and dares him to throw himself off and be saved by angels. First off, how high could a building be at that time? "Oooo, I'm so scared! I'm fifteen feet in the air!" Not exactly the kind of thing you want to waste a Holy Power on. Jesus throws him down. "Do not put the Lord your God to the test." Or, in this case, a Pop Quiz. Jesus : 2, Tempter : 0.
Finally the tempter takes Jesus to a mountain and shows him "all the kingdoms of the world", meaning I'm guessing historically about five. Rome I could see. There's always the food. But in order to get the Lasagna on the house, Jesus would have to bow down and worship the devil. Now there are a couple of things I might be convinced to bow down and worship, none of them probably publishable here, but an Administrative Assistant to the devil isn't one of them.
"Away with you Satan! For it is written worship the Lord your God and serve only him." AND THE WINNER IS... JESUS!
Then the tempter IN A FLURRY OF FIRE AND STORM... oh wait. He just left. Man, good help is so hard to find.
The Moral of the Story : When you have a vision for what you want to do in life, don't let all the petty crap divert you. Listen to your Inner Voice, whatever you name it, and depend on it. In the end you'll find temptation can't hold a candle to what you know is your calling. The wilderness is just a way of finding the strength you seek.
Frankly I don't think this tempter was very high on the Hell Chain. He's not called the Capital D "Devil". He also may be the lamest tempter ever.
Example A : Jesus fasted for 40 days and 40 nights. (Note to self - what is it about the number 40? Wasn't Noah's Ark on sea the same amount of days?) At the end of this time Jesus was famished. No shock there, I stand in line for 20 minutes at a restaurant and I'm ready to eat a baby. So the Lame Tempter says to Jesus (sort of) "If you're so great, turn these rocks into bread to eat."
Uh... BREAD? That's the most tempting thing you could come up with? Yeah, I'll use my god powers to conjure a big bag of Wonder Bread. How about turn these rocks into Paula Deen making fried chicken and homemade mac n' cheese? Now there's a temptation. Wuss.
Jesus snaps back "One does not live by bread alone." (DUH) Jesus ; 1, Tempter : 0.
Example B : Then the tempter takes Jesus to the top of a temple in the Holy City and dares him to throw himself off and be saved by angels. First off, how high could a building be at that time? "Oooo, I'm so scared! I'm fifteen feet in the air!" Not exactly the kind of thing you want to waste a Holy Power on. Jesus throws him down. "Do not put the Lord your God to the test." Or, in this case, a Pop Quiz. Jesus : 2, Tempter : 0.
Finally the tempter takes Jesus to a mountain and shows him "all the kingdoms of the world", meaning I'm guessing historically about five. Rome I could see. There's always the food. But in order to get the Lasagna on the house, Jesus would have to bow down and worship the devil. Now there are a couple of things I might be convinced to bow down and worship, none of them probably publishable here, but an Administrative Assistant to the devil isn't one of them.
"Away with you Satan! For it is written worship the Lord your God and serve only him." AND THE WINNER IS... JESUS!
Then the tempter IN A FLURRY OF FIRE AND STORM... oh wait. He just left. Man, good help is so hard to find.
The Moral of the Story : When you have a vision for what you want to do in life, don't let all the petty crap divert you. Listen to your Inner Voice, whatever you name it, and depend on it. In the end you'll find temptation can't hold a candle to what you know is your calling. The wilderness is just a way of finding the strength you seek.
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