The Human who came up with the word "God" was pretty poetic. If you make a fist and shove it into moist rich earth, the sound you get is pretty close to "God". I like "Yaweh" too. "Your Way". Whatever appeals to you.
For me, it's Betty. Betty as in "who knows"? You take a risk, a bet, as to the outcome. It's "Betty". I also think Betty sounds like the name of a mother who would give you a glass of milk every morning. Betty would envelope you with Her warmth.
Or His. For me, however, Betty it is. Enjoy.
BETTY
I wouldn’t exactly say I pray to Betty.
“Pray to” implies separation - Betty is Over There and I have to do something to Her. Plead to, Call, E-mail. Walk around the Wal-mart looking for Betty, screaming Her name. You know She’s somewhere, you just can’t see Her. Finally, deep between the the terry cloth robes where you least expect, there She is. Betty.
I don’t ask things of Betty often because Betty already knows what I want and need. TIVO is really cool. Already on it. I love Paula and Pooh. Check. Sometimes Betty won’t say much, like the Smart Girl in class. You’re not quite sure about the capital of Idaho and you turn and there She is, hands folded on the desk, smiling serenely. Boise’s urgency fades, replaced by the reassurance that Betty knows Boise. I bet if you asked Her later, She’d explain.
Or not. Betty can be pretty mischievous. One time I was walking Polly and there was a squirrel in the tree and I had a dog treat and I reached out to hand one to the squirrel and right when I reached out, there was Betty. “Pttthhhhhhpp”, She said. The squirrel took the treat and laughed before running off. Polly and I stood there with Betty Spit glistened on our noses.
Look up. Blue must be Betty’s favorite color because there's just so much of it. Before I was born, Betty and I stood at the Eye Counter. I pressed my nose to the glass, they all glistened on doilies on every shelf. I wanted to put them all in a brown paper bag to mull over on my bed later. “Just one”, Betty said. Which one do you like? “I love them all but I do love blue.” And that is How My Eyes Got Blue.
She’s bigger than you’d think. Sometimes I know she’s around and I’ll look Inside to see what she’s doing. Suddenly it’s Betty Balloon in the Betty Parade, inflating in my body, pressing against my skin until it bursts and Betty gets all over everything. Polly always has a big piece of Betty covering her face, Betty Bubblegum. She’ll climb on my chest and lick my lips, leaving a sweet piece.
Betty does love to dance, ask anyone, and Buddy, She is good. She does a fierce Hula Boola. Shake shake shake, Shake shake shake, Shake your Betty... Kids do the best Betty dance because later some people get rhythm which is just another way of saying “This is the Right Way to Dance”. “Right.” Hee hee, that’s funny. I’ll be alone in my apartment and hear one of Our Songs, me and Betty’s. Suddenly I’m wiggling my Thang and feeling mighty cool, awfully Together. I’ll look in the mirror and Betty is smiling. A “I’m proud of you even though you look like a fuckwad” smile. Betty grabs my arms and shakes out my fingers and we tango.
I sleep but Betty doesn’t. Actually, I’m not sure what She does. I’ve woken from a nightmare and think She’s gone but She was just in the other room and came when She heard me gasp. She tucks me back in and smiles again. A “What am I going to do with you?” smile. Thanks, Betty, for the breeze. I love that. Thanks for Polly’s howl. I love when she talks. Thanks for... what was it? Damn, I was just thinking about it.
Soon I’m deep asleep.
Monday, April 30, 2007
JOHN JOHN
Maybe I'm a little hasty in calling John The Baptist a "Crazy Old Coot". However, I have to admit he seems like the New Yorker cartoon of Matthew thus far, the cartoon where the man stands on the street corner wearing a sandwhich board that states THE END IS NEAR!
None the less, he seemed pretty popular as everyone from Judea and Jerusalem went to the river to see him and be baptised. Everyone loves a good show.
What struck me the most was this :
"Now John wore clothing of camel's hair with a leather belt around his waist, and his food was locusts and wild honey."
Whaaa? Up to this point Matthew, our cold, precise ex-tax collector hadn't described anyone let alone what they wore. No thoughts about Joseph, Mary, the chubby cheeks of little Baby Jesus. Suddenly he's Tim Gunn from Project Runway pointing out fashion as John struts down the Prophet Catwalk. I can only imagine future prophets flaunting their new camel hair coats and leather belts as they work their way down the river.
Even Teen Jesus, caught in the new trends, shows up to be baptised by JTB. "No," JTB announces,"You should be baptising me."
I ponder how Teen Jesus took this, wondering as I do how much he knew about his mission on this Planet. "Mom, why do we have frankincense in the house?" may have been his only thoughts at the time. Nonetheless, he's dunked in the river, a dove (anxious to get his time in the spotlight) flies down and Poppa God is pleased.
Someone is going to get the keys to the car that night.
ONCE MORE WITH FEELING
Hello possums!
Well I've been gone for the past week due to computor issues. Apparently my comp had an atheistic bent and wasn't too happy with all the "God" stuff and decided to just give up. It got sent away to computor rehab and has now returned with a fresh outlook and I'm anxious to return to BV.
Unfortunately Computor Rehab isn't a charity and has set me back quite a bit so if you're able to make a donation on the right via Paypal, your kindness will be greatly appreciated.
Coming up - John the Baptist, Crazy Old Coot!
xxx
Well I've been gone for the past week due to computor issues. Apparently my comp had an atheistic bent and wasn't too happy with all the "God" stuff and decided to just give up. It got sent away to computor rehab and has now returned with a fresh outlook and I'm anxious to return to BV.
Unfortunately Computor Rehab isn't a charity and has set me back quite a bit so if you're able to make a donation on the right via Paypal, your kindness will be greatly appreciated.
Coming up - John the Baptist, Crazy Old Coot!
xxx
Monday, April 23, 2007
SRO RERUN: ME AND GOD
ME AND GOD
Hey God.
Hey Hugh.
How’s it going?
Good, you?
As if you didn’t know.
I was being polite.
Natch. Thanks for coming though. Hope I’m not bothering you.
Oh, nooooo. Sunday, my busiest day of the week, oh nooo.
Oh yeah, sorry. I forgot about the church thing.
Whatever.
Well I just wanted to thank you for some things.
Oh really? I could go for that.
Duh. Who wouldn’t?
Come on then, get with it. Prayers to answer here...
Oh, ok. Well first I wanted to mention the trees and the sky last week. That was great.
Liked that huh?
Oh man. The sky was all marbled with clouds and then you had those tree branches lit by the sun and all sticky looking. Good work.
Yeah, I thought the light was a nice touch.
Indeed. And there’s Polly too. I must’ve been something great in my last life to deserve her.
Mmmm... not so great ... but you were a hard worker.
Inventing things, no doubt. Vaccines, irrigation...
Actually just building the pyramids. But you were always on time!
I was?
Must have got it out of your system back then huh?
I get preoccupied.
You’re forgiven.
Polly is a stroke of genius. You should get an award for coming up with her.
Like an Oscar?
Oscar? Uh, maybe not an Oscar since you obviously have nothing to do with Miramax. I was thinking more along the lines of a grant.
You kids.
Polly’s my role model. She loves everything and loves me most of all. I mean, not that I want to love me most of all but...
I got it. You could want worse.
Finally, thanks for letting me watch.
Letting you watch?
Yeah, all this stuff you’re doing all the time and I get to see. I’m honored. Obviously not everyone sees it. It’s like you’re not male or female, you’re just air that’s everywhere but you can’t put a finger on it until sometimes the leaves in the trees blow and make an amazing pattern of light on the grass. People are walking around thinking about everything and then someone actually comes out of their head and talks to you and suddenly there you are, making something happen.
Uh... yeah. It’s trippy alright.
I sound like a groupie. I just don’t get why everyone doesn’t feel it.
Well I asked them all but some just said “no” and you said “sure, ok”.
So basically you’re saying I’m not as special as I thought. Gee, thanks.
That’s not what I said.
It’s fine. I’m just some rube who happened to pick up the phone when you called.
Are you actually trying to make God feel guilty?
Oh. Maybe. That’s pretty lame.
Your words. But I appreciate your thanks .
Of course.
Of course.
It’s not easy being God, huh?
It’s harder to Not be God.
Ain’t that the truth.
Amen.
Amen.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
DREAMS
Dreams are an important part of Matthew. They are mentioned five times in the first six books.
So as Bible Versus homework, your job is to see these two movies to give you better understanding into how dreams work :
"Waking Life"
"The Science of Sleep"
More importanly think about what they meant to Joseph. Dreams are wild things. Enjoy. Feel free to leave thoughts in the comments, as always.
So as Bible Versus homework, your job is to see these two movies to give you better understanding into how dreams work :
"Waking Life"
"The Science of Sleep"
More importanly think about what they meant to Joseph. Dreams are wild things. Enjoy. Feel free to leave thoughts in the comments, as always.
Friday, April 20, 2007
SRO RERUN : I WANT TO BE POPE
Many of you are new to me and my writing having just come here via the RLP. Therefore one feature I'll be posting occasionally are past popular religious based posts from my "other" blog, Standing Room Only. They aren't exactly regarding our journey in the NT, but they'll give you some insight into my whacky world. Enjoy!
I WANT TO BE POPE
I want to be Pope®.
I want Pope® shoes and Pope® socks and Pope® shorts and Pope® t-shirts and Pope® Hats. All made by Supermodel Nuns at an undisclosed location but one that affords sun most of the year. The convent would be called Our Lady of the Runway and they’d all wear habits by Gaultier and smoke cigarettes during communion. But their Number One Calling in life, other than one day becoming a Serious Actress, would be to make clothes for me, the Pope®.
I’d have to change my name. Pope® Hugh sounds like a sneeze and I’d prefer to adopt the traditional Peter. Mainly because Peter is a Dirty Word yet everyone would be forced to say it over and over in front of me. I ‘d look up from under the brim of my Stylin'’ New Pope® Hat and make my patented Pope® look that says “You just said Peter.”
But Pope® Peter would be the talk of the town, BP®OC - Big Pope® On Campus. Lounging in the Quad in my glamorous yet comfortable Pope® robe, high-fiving the guys on the Cardinal Team. Chatting to Father Frank about his marriage to Father Bill.
Yes, it’s true. Now that I’m Pope®, there’s gonna be some changes and I’ll spill one now, since you’re buddies with me, the Pope®. Priests can get married. Yup, fasten your seatbelts. They can get married cause Pope® Peter said they could. I decided priests can be in a loving sexual relationship because to love someone like that, no matter who, is a-whole-nother Flavor of God not always listed with the Other 33. Love’s like that. You should express God in that dress, not the dress that makes your butt look fat.
IMHP®O, that plan sucked. But no more. Not with me, Pope® Peter.
At Chateau Du Pope®, aka The Vatican, we would have Big Ol’ Masses. Thousands of people would come to Shake It and frankly, who gives a better party than me, Pope® Peter? Etta James would sing and everyone would have a Big Foam Rubber Hand that says “Over here!”. All the hands would be jiving and all the people would be saying “Look at me! Over here!”
“Pope® Peter’s in the house!”
“Pope® Peter’s in the house!”
“Pope® Peter!”
“Pope ®Peter!”
“Pope® Peter!”
“Pope® Peter!”
“Pope® Penis!”
“Pope ®Penis!”
They’d all stop, because they said a Dirty Word. I’d pull down the edge of my Pope® Hat, pull out my grooving Pope® Sunglasses and say, “You’re absolved!”
You know why? Because that’s my job. I’m Pope® Peter, the Pope®.
I WANT TO BE POPE
I want to be Pope®.
I want Pope® shoes and Pope® socks and Pope® shorts and Pope® t-shirts and Pope® Hats. All made by Supermodel Nuns at an undisclosed location but one that affords sun most of the year. The convent would be called Our Lady of the Runway and they’d all wear habits by Gaultier and smoke cigarettes during communion. But their Number One Calling in life, other than one day becoming a Serious Actress, would be to make clothes for me, the Pope®.
I’d have to change my name. Pope® Hugh sounds like a sneeze and I’d prefer to adopt the traditional Peter. Mainly because Peter is a Dirty Word yet everyone would be forced to say it over and over in front of me. I ‘d look up from under the brim of my Stylin'’ New Pope® Hat and make my patented Pope® look that says “You just said Peter.”
But Pope® Peter would be the talk of the town, BP®OC - Big Pope® On Campus. Lounging in the Quad in my glamorous yet comfortable Pope® robe, high-fiving the guys on the Cardinal Team. Chatting to Father Frank about his marriage to Father Bill.
Yes, it’s true. Now that I’m Pope®, there’s gonna be some changes and I’ll spill one now, since you’re buddies with me, the Pope®. Priests can get married. Yup, fasten your seatbelts. They can get married cause Pope® Peter said they could. I decided priests can be in a loving sexual relationship because to love someone like that, no matter who, is a-whole-nother Flavor of God not always listed with the Other 33. Love’s like that. You should express God in that dress, not the dress that makes your butt look fat.
IMHP®O, that plan sucked. But no more. Not with me, Pope® Peter.
At Chateau Du Pope®, aka The Vatican, we would have Big Ol’ Masses. Thousands of people would come to Shake It and frankly, who gives a better party than me, Pope® Peter? Etta James would sing and everyone would have a Big Foam Rubber Hand that says “Over here!”. All the hands would be jiving and all the people would be saying “Look at me! Over here!”
“Pope® Peter’s in the house!”
“Pope® Peter’s in the house!”
“Pope® Peter!”
“Pope ®Peter!”
“Pope® Peter!”
“Pope® Peter!”
“Pope® Penis!”
“Pope ®Penis!”
They’d all stop, because they said a Dirty Word. I’d pull down the edge of my Pope® Hat, pull out my grooving Pope® Sunglasses and say, “You’re absolved!”
You know why? Because that’s my job. I’m Pope® Peter, the Pope®.
HEROD TODAY, GONE TOMORROW
Oh Herod. What was your damage? You hear about a new King being born and you freak. Did you think a baby was going to march into your palace and push you off the throne? Turns out, Jesus wasn't even going to be your kind of King. You are either incredibly paranoid or stupid or both. (Wait a second... something about a leader like that sounds familiar.)
You should have guessed from the Wise Men's scoop that Baby Jesus had some inside knowledge as well. Duh. Joke's on you because the Christ Family goes to Egypt where you can't do squat. Well, except KILL ALL THE KIDS UNDER TWO! WTF? Even the girls? Girls can't even be Kings, dumbbutt! Ugh. Jealousy is so ugly in an old king.
All that trouble and then you die. Joseph has yet another dream, another angel and the Christs move to Nazareth. Fulfilling, you might want to know Herod, yet another prophecy:
"He will be called a Nazorean"
HA ha! Herod, you got Punk'd.
You should have guessed from the Wise Men's scoop that Baby Jesus had some inside knowledge as well. Duh. Joke's on you because the Christ Family goes to Egypt where you can't do squat. Well, except KILL ALL THE KIDS UNDER TWO! WTF? Even the girls? Girls can't even be Kings, dumbbutt! Ugh. Jealousy is so ugly in an old king.
All that trouble and then you die. Joseph has yet another dream, another angel and the Christs move to Nazareth. Fulfilling, you might want to know Herod, yet another prophecy:
"He will be called a Nazorean"
HA ha! Herod, you got Punk'd.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
MORE MATTHEW
The Real Live Preacher, in his infinite wisdom, informed me in a comment about Matthew being a tax collector:
Real Live Preacher said...
I've heard some people compare tax collectors in that day to child pornographers in our day. Meaning, it's hard to find anyone the Jews hated more. It might help to know that the tax collectors were considered to be traitors. They collected taxes for the occupying force of Rome. As I hear it told, they collected more than they had to and were allowed to keep the difference.
Since many devout Jesus didn't even want to handle Roman coins, you can imagine what they thought about Matthew.
Pretty drastic ideas. However I can relate to being an "Outsider". Indeed, by starting this blog, I risked being an Outsider. A queer talking about the Bible. A preacher embracing someone gay. A Patriot calling for peace in the Middle East.
More importantly than who Matthew was in his former life is where he came to be. It's not easy turning from your former life, often a life of ease and acceptance, to embrace the life you feel compelled to lead. It may mean eschewing your family, your deeply inbred beliefs, the very core of who you thought you are as a person. Personally, I've been abandoned by my family for a disease I had no control over. I can relate.
In Matthew's case, it seems to make his convictions stronger. He made a difficult choice to follow a path with no promise, to follow a man he had little tactile evidence about. It was something he felt deep inside where all of our life choices originate.
This might be called Faith.
Real Live Preacher said...
I've heard some people compare tax collectors in that day to child pornographers in our day. Meaning, it's hard to find anyone the Jews hated more. It might help to know that the tax collectors were considered to be traitors. They collected taxes for the occupying force of Rome. As I hear it told, they collected more than they had to and were allowed to keep the difference.
Since many devout Jesus didn't even want to handle Roman coins, you can imagine what they thought about Matthew.
Pretty drastic ideas. However I can relate to being an "Outsider". Indeed, by starting this blog, I risked being an Outsider. A queer talking about the Bible. A preacher embracing someone gay. A Patriot calling for peace in the Middle East.
More importantly than who Matthew was in his former life is where he came to be. It's not easy turning from your former life, often a life of ease and acceptance, to embrace the life you feel compelled to lead. It may mean eschewing your family, your deeply inbred beliefs, the very core of who you thought you are as a person. Personally, I've been abandoned by my family for a disease I had no control over. I can relate.
In Matthew's case, it seems to make his convictions stronger. He made a difficult choice to follow a path with no promise, to follow a man he had little tactile evidence about. It was something he felt deep inside where all of our life choices originate.
This might be called Faith.
REAL LIVE PEOPLE
Howdy! Welcome to everyone coming here to visit via the Real Live Preacher.
This is a shoes off kinda blog. Relax, loosen your collar, let down your hair. I know this might not be everyone's cup of tea so feel free to pop a beer. Or wine, if you feel that's more appropriate to the theme. All I ask is none of us take anything too seriously because that's not much fun.
I'll usually be blogging every couple of days working my way through the NT. Sometimes I may drag you by the arm or sometimes we might get down on our hands and knees and look at the bugs in the grass. So if you only visit here this once or if you come back every few days, I hope you discover something new.
And yes, I love me some comments.
AMEN!
This is a shoes off kinda blog. Relax, loosen your collar, let down your hair. I know this might not be everyone's cup of tea so feel free to pop a beer. Or wine, if you feel that's more appropriate to the theme. All I ask is none of us take anything too seriously because that's not much fun.
I'll usually be blogging every couple of days working my way through the NT. Sometimes I may drag you by the arm or sometimes we might get down on our hands and knees and look at the bugs in the grass. So if you only visit here this once or if you come back every few days, I hope you discover something new.
And yes, I love me some comments.
AMEN!
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
EYE ARE ESS
Interested about Matthew, after I wrote my last post I Googled him to see what he was the Patron Saint of. OMG! Matthew was a TAX COLLECTOR! Probably the most hated job after lawyer.
However, I was curiously pleased with my assessment of him. Of course a tax collector would be right to the point. Of course a tax collector would be less about "drama" and more about "just the numbers". Tax collectors would also, I assume, need a sense of humor about their job.
This explains a lot. Matthew apparently did a 360 degree after meeting Jesus, leaving behind a life of finance to follow what he seemed to believe in. If anything, this makes me like Matthew more.
However, I was curiously pleased with my assessment of him. Of course a tax collector would be right to the point. Of course a tax collector would be less about "drama" and more about "just the numbers". Tax collectors would also, I assume, need a sense of humor about their job.
This explains a lot. Matthew apparently did a 360 degree after meeting Jesus, leaving behind a life of finance to follow what he seemed to believe in. If anything, this makes me like Matthew more.
MATTHEW CUTS TO THE CHASE
So I tip-toed into the New Testament last night, beginning of course with the Gospel of Matthew.
I think I'd like Matthew if I met him. From what I've read, he comes across as a no-nonsense kind of guy, low drama and to my surprise I detect a sly bit of humor (of course that could just be me). He certainly doesn't beat around the bush in his book of the Bible, beginnning with a blunt account of the geneology of Jesus.
This was a pretty clever thing to do. He slaps down the names of the paternal lineage from Abraham right up to Joseph. (Note to expectant parents : forget all that "Apple" name crap. Uzziah! Zadok!) Then, in the next chapter, he presents us with the whammy that Joseph isn't really Jesus's father after all! PSYCH!
It seems Joseph and Mary had been dating and when Joseph found out she was pregnant, he planned to "dismiss" her. Pretty harsh. However, an angel came to him in a dream, apparently not Oprah or Madonna like in my dreams. This angel must have been pretty convincing because the angel told him Mary was impregnated by the Holy Spirit (wha??), they should marry and they'd have a son. All of this was prophesized :
"Look, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son,
and they shall name him Emmanuel"
So they got hitched, Mary had a baby boy and they named him, uh, Jesus. Not Emmanuel but who's quibbling.
Matthew avoids all the usual added stuff like the Roomless Inn, the manger, the shepherds, etc. He throws in the Wise Men which serve as a good plot device to introduce Herod to the story since (news to me) they met with Herod before they went to see Baby Jesus. But they aren't "Kings of Orient" at all, they're actually just astrologers (!!!). Yeah, like Jeanne Dixon on camels. Matthew has them in and out in a few sentences.
In fact, I get the idea Matthew wasn't really that impressed by the whole Virgin Birth scenario at all. My feeling is he's ready to get to the Good Stuff - the actual teachings of Jesus.
I think I'd like Matthew if I met him. From what I've read, he comes across as a no-nonsense kind of guy, low drama and to my surprise I detect a sly bit of humor (of course that could just be me). He certainly doesn't beat around the bush in his book of the Bible, beginnning with a blunt account of the geneology of Jesus.
This was a pretty clever thing to do. He slaps down the names of the paternal lineage from Abraham right up to Joseph. (Note to expectant parents : forget all that "Apple" name crap. Uzziah! Zadok!) Then, in the next chapter, he presents us with the whammy that Joseph isn't really Jesus's father after all! PSYCH!
It seems Joseph and Mary had been dating and when Joseph found out she was pregnant, he planned to "dismiss" her. Pretty harsh. However, an angel came to him in a dream, apparently not Oprah or Madonna like in my dreams. This angel must have been pretty convincing because the angel told him Mary was impregnated by the Holy Spirit (wha??), they should marry and they'd have a son. All of this was prophesized :
"Look, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son,
and they shall name him Emmanuel"
So they got hitched, Mary had a baby boy and they named him, uh, Jesus. Not Emmanuel but who's quibbling.
Matthew avoids all the usual added stuff like the Roomless Inn, the manger, the shepherds, etc. He throws in the Wise Men which serve as a good plot device to introduce Herod to the story since (news to me) they met with Herod before they went to see Baby Jesus. But they aren't "Kings of Orient" at all, they're actually just astrologers (!!!). Yeah, like Jeanne Dixon on camels. Matthew has them in and out in a few sentences.
In fact, I get the idea Matthew wasn't really that impressed by the whole Virgin Birth scenario at all. My feeling is he's ready to get to the Good Stuff - the actual teachings of Jesus.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
PSALMS FOR THE POUR, PT, II
So as I was doing a last past through Psalms before moving on to the New Testament proper, I came across this :
PSALM 30
THANKSGIVING FOR RECOVERY FOR GRAVE ILLNESS
A psalm. A song for the dedication of the temple. Of David.
I will extol you, Lord, for you have drawn me up,
and did not let my enemies rejoice over me.
O Lord, my God, I cried to to you for help
and you have healed me.
O Lord, you brought up my soul from Sheol;
restored me from life from those going down to the Pit*.
Sing praise to the Lord, oh you his faithful ones,
and give thanks to his holy name.
For his anger is but for a moment,
his favor is for a lifetime.
Weeping may linger for the night;
but joy comes with the morning.
As for me, I said in my prosperity.
"I shall never be moved."
By your favor O Lord,
you had established me as a strong mountain.
you hid your face,
I was dismayed.
To you, O Lord, I cried,
and to the Lord I made supplication.
"What profit is there in my death,
if I go down to the Pit?
Will the dust praise you?
Will it tell of your faithfulness?
Hear, O Lord, and be gracious to me!
O Lord, be my helper!"
You have turned my mourning into dancing;
you have taken off my sackcloth
and clothed me with joy.
so that my soul may praise you and not be silent.
O Lord, my God, I will give thanks to you forever.
* "The Pit, while a great name for a gay bar, in this case means Death. D'oh!
Naturally this jumped out at me since I have AIDS. Perhaps this is something I should have been chanting for the last 25 years. However, AIDS isn't neccesarily now seen as terminal. Not as terminal as, say, Life. After all, one thing we are pretty sure of is we're all going to die. Sooner, as many of my friends with AIDS did, or later, as I eventually will. Could this be a prayer for all of us?
I love how our despair about the shortness of life can be transformed into dancing for this life we have. After all, what else is there to do but dance?
PSALM 30
THANKSGIVING FOR RECOVERY FOR GRAVE ILLNESS
A psalm. A song for the dedication of the temple. Of David.
I will extol you, Lord, for you have drawn me up,
and did not let my enemies rejoice over me.
O Lord, my God, I cried to to you for help
and you have healed me.
O Lord, you brought up my soul from Sheol;
restored me from life from those going down to the Pit*.
Sing praise to the Lord, oh you his faithful ones,
and give thanks to his holy name.
For his anger is but for a moment,
his favor is for a lifetime.
Weeping may linger for the night;
but joy comes with the morning.
As for me, I said in my prosperity.
"I shall never be moved."
By your favor O Lord,
you had established me as a strong mountain.
you hid your face,
I was dismayed.
To you, O Lord, I cried,
and to the Lord I made supplication.
"What profit is there in my death,
if I go down to the Pit?
Will the dust praise you?
Will it tell of your faithfulness?
Hear, O Lord, and be gracious to me!
O Lord, be my helper!"
You have turned my mourning into dancing;
you have taken off my sackcloth
and clothed me with joy.
so that my soul may praise you and not be silent.
O Lord, my God, I will give thanks to you forever.
* "The Pit, while a great name for a gay bar, in this case means Death. D'oh!
Naturally this jumped out at me since I have AIDS. Perhaps this is something I should have been chanting for the last 25 years. However, AIDS isn't neccesarily now seen as terminal. Not as terminal as, say, Life. After all, one thing we are pretty sure of is we're all going to die. Sooner, as many of my friends with AIDS did, or later, as I eventually will. Could this be a prayer for all of us?
I love how our despair about the shortness of life can be transformed into dancing for this life we have. After all, what else is there to do but dance?
NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP...
I had my first Bible dream last night.
I know dream blogging is in the poorest blogging taste since dreams are so universal. However I'll tell you some things about my dreams in general :
1. I have several vivid dreams a night.
2. I almost always remember my dreams the next day, complete with visuals.
3. When I'm dreaming, I'm cognitive of being in a dream.
4. I can wake from a dream, get up and go pee then go back to bed to the same dream.
So having a new prop for my dreams was noteworthy. Long story short, I walked down a dream street and worked my New Bible like a pro.
I was also wearing a black t-shirt and got shot in the chest but that's for another lame dream blog post.
I know dream blogging is in the poorest blogging taste since dreams are so universal. However I'll tell you some things about my dreams in general :
1. I have several vivid dreams a night.
2. I almost always remember my dreams the next day, complete with visuals.
3. When I'm dreaming, I'm cognitive of being in a dream.
4. I can wake from a dream, get up and go pee then go back to bed to the same dream.
So having a new prop for my dreams was noteworthy. Long story short, I walked down a dream street and worked my New Bible like a pro.
I was also wearing a black t-shirt and got shot in the chest but that's for another lame dream blog post.
Monday, April 16, 2007
PSALMS FOR THE POUR
The first thing that strikes me about Psalms is the name.
I honestly tried to think of other words that had the P-S beginning that were followed by a letter other than Y. Psychic, psychiatry.., yes. I couldn't come up with another that was P-S-A. If there is one, please enlighten me.
However, I did decide how one says the word Psalms. With most S words, you say the word with an open mouth, almost like a smile. With Psalms, you begin the word with closed lips. It's like you're trying to keep the word in your mouth so that you can repeat it later.
Which is part of the magic of the Psalms. My understanding is they origninated as songs, repeated over time. Almost as chants to be passed from age to age. Psalms were part of an oral tradition which, not unlike "Row, row, row your boat" would become part of a genetic implantation to pass them down from generation to generation.
The Psalms are poetic, without a doubt. Why, however, would they gain enoough clout to be included in the Importance of the Bible? Enough to be the intro to the New Standardized Version? You'd think the Ten Commandments or something equally dramatic would be the Big Message.
Partially, I think it's the accessability. "THOU SHALT HONOR THY MOTHER AND FATHER". Eh... so much work. And who doesn't hate their parents at some point? You fall out of your bedroom window to go meet your friends and ick.
However :
"The Lord is my shepard, I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures..."
Psalm 23
Here's a Hallmark Card of Lord Stuff. Fluffy sheep, green pastures. It's a veritable pastel drawing of reassuring prose. Who is gonna have a problem with sheep and grass? Jesus hadn't been supposedly born yet. so it was all Lord all the time. If you win a rap award and recite a Psalm, no one will blink twice. The Psalms are like a break in the violence and excitement of the Bible where we can take a breather and just take a moment, a time when people could divert their attention from the mayhem around them and just give props to the Big Cheese that created it all.
I honestly tried to think of other words that had the P-S beginning that were followed by a letter other than Y. Psychic, psychiatry.., yes. I couldn't come up with another that was P-S-A. If there is one, please enlighten me.
However, I did decide how one says the word Psalms. With most S words, you say the word with an open mouth, almost like a smile. With Psalms, you begin the word with closed lips. It's like you're trying to keep the word in your mouth so that you can repeat it later.
Which is part of the magic of the Psalms. My understanding is they origninated as songs, repeated over time. Almost as chants to be passed from age to age. Psalms were part of an oral tradition which, not unlike "Row, row, row your boat" would become part of a genetic implantation to pass them down from generation to generation.
The Psalms are poetic, without a doubt. Why, however, would they gain enoough clout to be included in the Importance of the Bible? Enough to be the intro to the New Standardized Version? You'd think the Ten Commandments or something equally dramatic would be the Big Message.
Partially, I think it's the accessability. "THOU SHALT HONOR THY MOTHER AND FATHER". Eh... so much work. And who doesn't hate their parents at some point? You fall out of your bedroom window to go meet your friends and ick.
However :
"The Lord is my shepard, I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures..."
Psalm 23
Here's a Hallmark Card of Lord Stuff. Fluffy sheep, green pastures. It's a veritable pastel drawing of reassuring prose. Who is gonna have a problem with sheep and grass? Jesus hadn't been supposedly born yet. so it was all Lord all the time. If you win a rap award and recite a Psalm, no one will blink twice. The Psalms are like a break in the violence and excitement of the Bible where we can take a breather and just take a moment, a time when people could divert their attention from the mayhem around them and just give props to the Big Cheese that created it all.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
THE GOOD BOOK
As I posted earlier, because of my other blog Standing Room Only, I'd become friends with a Baptist preacher in Texas who started a blog called "Real Live Preacher". Because of his open-minded and sometimes off the map view of his religion, his blog became a HUGE hit. People apparently hunger for a spiritual path that veers from the sometimes close-minded assumptions we see from more publicized religious talking heads. In my opinion, he speaks from the values that the true Jesus Christ actually extolled. Love, love and love. He even wrote a book based on his blog and I was honored and fortunate enough to be the subject of a chapter.
Also, we've never met in "person". We've talked often on the phone and he's been gracious enough to send me copies of his books and audio tapes. We've both written blog posts about each other and even envisioned what it would be like to actually meet. It's a relationship of the New Millenium - not physical but digital, yet none-the-less "real". Reality being a concept highly suspicious.
Fast forward to a couple of months ago. The RLP began posting a series of video shorts where he was basically giving his views on Bible 101. Hmmm... interesting. It had been maybe 30 years since I had actually examined the Bible. What could my present situation and perspective bring to the picture? So I let the RLP know about my interest.
He was intrigued, as he should have been. He knew I had some background in christianity from my youth. I can recite huge amounts of Bible verses at will (a great party trick to shock my friends) and he was on board.
So he sent me his Bible.
This was, of course, the be all end all to me. It was like asking Picasso about drawing and he sends you his pencils and a sketch. RLP was in tune with what I was looking for and I trusted him explictly.
The Bible he sent me is, in itself, quite remarkable. It was a lot smaller than I expected for one. When I got the envelope, which I had been expecting, I was like what the fuck? This isn't a Bible, it was like a Zagat Guide. I tore open the envelope and found a long narrow pocket sized bound volume. I immediately opened it and the first thing I came upon was the Psalms. Huh? Why did he send me this? There were also post-its signifying certain passages. I turned to the first one and John the Baptist spoke from the page, "There is another coming."
Eventually however I realized it was the New Testament. The Psalms were just the appetizer for this, the New Revised Standard Version of the New Testament. I paged through the onion thin pages and realized it was all there. Such a Doubting Thomas (more about that later) I was. This was my ticket into this world.
This Bible, my RLP Bible, has seen a few days. A few sins, a few tortured moments of confession. It's not a Bible you'd find shiny and unblemished in a hotel bedstand. This Bible rightfully has history. I think all Bibles should come like this, stained by tears and conflict. Bibles should be a journey, not an answer. This one journeyed to me. The front cover has metal edges to preserve it as long as possible. Anticipating endless thumbings, I assume.
So our journey, yours and mine on this blog, doesn't stand on sand. It stands on the preachings of the real thing. A Real Live Preacher. The ship on which we stand isn't on a maiden voyage.
Also, we've never met in "person". We've talked often on the phone and he's been gracious enough to send me copies of his books and audio tapes. We've both written blog posts about each other and even envisioned what it would be like to actually meet. It's a relationship of the New Millenium - not physical but digital, yet none-the-less "real". Reality being a concept highly suspicious.
Fast forward to a couple of months ago. The RLP began posting a series of video shorts where he was basically giving his views on Bible 101. Hmmm... interesting. It had been maybe 30 years since I had actually examined the Bible. What could my present situation and perspective bring to the picture? So I let the RLP know about my interest.
He was intrigued, as he should have been. He knew I had some background in christianity from my youth. I can recite huge amounts of Bible verses at will (a great party trick to shock my friends) and he was on board.
So he sent me his Bible.
This was, of course, the be all end all to me. It was like asking Picasso about drawing and he sends you his pencils and a sketch. RLP was in tune with what I was looking for and I trusted him explictly.
The Bible he sent me is, in itself, quite remarkable. It was a lot smaller than I expected for one. When I got the envelope, which I had been expecting, I was like what the fuck? This isn't a Bible, it was like a Zagat Guide. I tore open the envelope and found a long narrow pocket sized bound volume. I immediately opened it and the first thing I came upon was the Psalms. Huh? Why did he send me this? There were also post-its signifying certain passages. I turned to the first one and John the Baptist spoke from the page, "There is another coming."
Eventually however I realized it was the New Testament. The Psalms were just the appetizer for this, the New Revised Standard Version of the New Testament. I paged through the onion thin pages and realized it was all there. Such a Doubting Thomas (more about that later) I was. This was my ticket into this world.
This Bible, my RLP Bible, has seen a few days. A few sins, a few tortured moments of confession. It's not a Bible you'd find shiny and unblemished in a hotel bedstand. This Bible rightfully has history. I think all Bibles should come like this, stained by tears and conflict. Bibles should be a journey, not an answer. This one journeyed to me. The front cover has metal edges to preserve it as long as possible. Anticipating endless thumbings, I assume.
So our journey, yours and mine on this blog, doesn't stand on sand. It stands on the preachings of the real thing. A Real Live Preacher. The ship on which we stand isn't on a maiden voyage.
BIBLE-A-GO-GO
Since I announced to friends my intention to re-examine the Bible, I have been the proud recipient of three Bibles. It's all Bible all the time here at Casa Hugh. I've also received a book called "Velvet Elvis" which I haven't even opened yet but has a cool title and supposedly has something to do with christianity (so Susie claims).
Why all the Bibles?
Well the difference is the versions. The first Bible I got was the King James Version. This is the one that's full of all the Bible Talk people are used to hearing. All the "thou"s and "begat"s and "shalt"s. Using big words is one way to make things sound important which I'm guessing for a King is a pretty big deal. He had someone make him his own Bible, for crying out loud. As a read, however, it's pretty dry. You also have to doubt the veracity of everything included. I mean if the people making King James Version for the King came across a phrase that said God isn't so happy with Kings, it probably got edited. Not to mention all the other predilictions the King might have had. I'm pretty sure this is the version the Gideons put in hotel rooms.
The second version I got is called the "New Living Translation". Versus, I guess, the "Old Dead Translation". This was a step closer to what I was looking for. It looks like a Bible - it has big silver letters on the cover that say HOLY BIBLE. It's also a "red letter" Bible which means everything Jesus says is printed in red. If you were playing Jesus in a play, it would save you the trouble of highlighting all your lines. Again, I wonder about the accuracy of the quotes. I'm guessing there wasn't a stenographer yet I think of all the times various religions base things like sin on particular words, words which may have just been made up. Later I'll be interested to see what Jesus actually does talk about versus what ideas people put in his mouth.
I'll talk about the third and final version and how it got to me in my next post.
Why all the Bibles?
Well the difference is the versions. The first Bible I got was the King James Version. This is the one that's full of all the Bible Talk people are used to hearing. All the "thou"s and "begat"s and "shalt"s. Using big words is one way to make things sound important which I'm guessing for a King is a pretty big deal. He had someone make him his own Bible, for crying out loud. As a read, however, it's pretty dry. You also have to doubt the veracity of everything included. I mean if the people making King James Version for the King came across a phrase that said God isn't so happy with Kings, it probably got edited. Not to mention all the other predilictions the King might have had. I'm pretty sure this is the version the Gideons put in hotel rooms.
The second version I got is called the "New Living Translation". Versus, I guess, the "Old Dead Translation". This was a step closer to what I was looking for. It looks like a Bible - it has big silver letters on the cover that say HOLY BIBLE. It's also a "red letter" Bible which means everything Jesus says is printed in red. If you were playing Jesus in a play, it would save you the trouble of highlighting all your lines. Again, I wonder about the accuracy of the quotes. I'm guessing there wasn't a stenographer yet I think of all the times various religions base things like sin on particular words, words which may have just been made up. Later I'll be interested to see what Jesus actually does talk about versus what ideas people put in his mouth.
I'll talk about the third and final version and how it got to me in my next post.
Saturday, April 14, 2007
OH GOD
This is going to be a blog about my reading (again) of the Bible, starting with the New Testament.
I am a gay man living with AIDS in Los Angeles and I recently decided to re-explore the Bible, both as a piece of literature and for any potential spiritual inspiration.
Why the Bible?
Well for one, in my childhood and adolescence I had a connection to "organized religion". I lived in the South so it was hard to avoid and I also went to an Episcopal High School (I got an A in Religion Class!). More importantly, several years ago I began my other blog (Standing Room Only, which is in remission) and became friends with several people who were involved in a religion.
One was the Real Live Preacher who opened my experience to include people I might otherwise not think of as an ally. He's a Baptist Preacher in Texas (double whammy) yet I was drawn to him and he to me. He has become not only a good friend but also a brother in this world. In fact, the Bible I'll be using for this project was sent to me by him and (according to him) was his own personal Bible for years. It's not very big but it smells good and has notes in it. It's the perfect Bible. It's also (if you're following along) the New Standard Version.
My other friend is Susie who also lives in Texas with her husband (what's with me and the Texans?) and is also very involved in a church. She is what I would like to think is the epitome of a Christian Ideal. She's been compassionate when I've had times of need, she's generous and often sends me packages of food and treats for my dog Polly and she's even come here to LA to stay with me. She's my angel on earth.
So with these two angels come to me, how could I doubt the power of what they believed?
I'm not a practising "christian". As I recently told the RLP, I consider myself a "christianist", meaning I believe in the ideals of what this person Jesus Christ taught but not necessarily all the kooky-spooky stuff. My re-examination of the Bible and what it contains will be an often unorthodox, broader minded view of what has been written.
Come along for the ride. Let's see what we can discover.
I am a gay man living with AIDS in Los Angeles and I recently decided to re-explore the Bible, both as a piece of literature and for any potential spiritual inspiration.
Why the Bible?
Well for one, in my childhood and adolescence I had a connection to "organized religion". I lived in the South so it was hard to avoid and I also went to an Episcopal High School (I got an A in Religion Class!). More importantly, several years ago I began my other blog (Standing Room Only, which is in remission) and became friends with several people who were involved in a religion.
One was the Real Live Preacher who opened my experience to include people I might otherwise not think of as an ally. He's a Baptist Preacher in Texas (double whammy) yet I was drawn to him and he to me. He has become not only a good friend but also a brother in this world. In fact, the Bible I'll be using for this project was sent to me by him and (according to him) was his own personal Bible for years. It's not very big but it smells good and has notes in it. It's the perfect Bible. It's also (if you're following along) the New Standard Version.
My other friend is Susie who also lives in Texas with her husband (what's with me and the Texans?) and is also very involved in a church. She is what I would like to think is the epitome of a Christian Ideal. She's been compassionate when I've had times of need, she's generous and often sends me packages of food and treats for my dog Polly and she's even come here to LA to stay with me. She's my angel on earth.
So with these two angels come to me, how could I doubt the power of what they believed?
I'm not a practising "christian". As I recently told the RLP, I consider myself a "christianist", meaning I believe in the ideals of what this person Jesus Christ taught but not necessarily all the kooky-spooky stuff. My re-examination of the Bible and what it contains will be an often unorthodox, broader minded view of what has been written.
Come along for the ride. Let's see what we can discover.
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